Game Over Biznatch

Well i'm home in Norcal for the next couple of days, crackberry equipped. It's nice to see some Norcal faces and my fam and doggie. :) Anyways, I decided to get a tattoo.

Yea I am pretty bad ass. And this is me trying to look hard but looking like I ate something sour instead. Okay I gotta go beat up some middle schoolers now.

The BBP Problem

Every girl deals with this in the past, present or future. It's called BBP, "Bad Boy Phase"

Why is it that every girl is attracted to the bad boy or the douche bag that they know isn't good for them? Some girls may be attracted to the bad boy because they want to be a "bad girl" but in most cases, it is because they want to change them. The paradox here is the girl is attracted to this bad boy because he isn't the goody two shoes, nice boy but they also want to be the girl who changes him to be that. We want to be that girl. The girl who he sets down his wayward ways for. The girl he changes for. The girl who turns him "good." If you're a girl, you know what i'm talking about to some degree. Maybe we enjoy the challenge. Maybe in some way, we enjoy the thrill of this chase. This is just parallel to how guys want to be the knight in shining armor, the knight who saves the damsel in distress. The hero of the story.

I will be the first to admit that yes, I used to be attracted to the "bad boy" who wasn't good for me. Throughout my high school years, those were the type of guys I liked. C, who was a year older than me and hung out with the "popular, cool guys." He had experience with alcohol, etc, etc since middle school and knew a lot more than me. He would text in the day, call at night and occasionally visit me and walk my dog with me. Or A, who smoked pot every lunch and skipped our 5th period class because of that. He somehow ended up dealing a bit to his friends because he had access to it. Sometimes I'd try and make sure he was on track with school to make sure his grades were decent. We would talk just about every day and a lot of our talks went into the night via phone or AIM. In general, I was never really the one to call, text or AIM first. Since early on, I was never too good at that with all my friends (but i'm much better now!). But I always responded positively because I always believed that both of these guys had a good heart and were good people, and they were. They just lived a different lifestyle that I didn't hold but held a curiosity to. They were good guys and I just wanted to bring it out more. I was a naive, optimistic, Christian girl so it was in my nature to want to influence them to be a better guy. It was also those same reasons I believed which is why they liked talking and being around me because my naiveness, optimism & silly ways were a breath of fresh air and I cared. Yet it was also because I was a naive, optimistic, Christian girl that I still held down my fundamental values, that we never became anything more than friends. Because when it came down to it, I would only date Christians. And the nice boys who liked me, I just saw them as friends.

And then came my freshman year in college where I met M, who was a little bit of both. A Christian boy, emphasis on boy. But that's another story.

In the end, despite that part in us as girls to want to help change these "bad boys," its not our place. We can love, care, influence and hope but it is ultimately up to God and them how their lives play out. Remember the second guy I mentioned, A? He's a really good guy and recently told me he's been thinking about checking out the churches around Irvine and that he might call me up to go with me one of these Sundays. And then he went to Vegas that weekend. One step at a time. haha Not that there's anything wrong with Vegas, haha it's all up to what you do in Vegas really.

These days i've been very inspired by the book "Blue Like Jazz." It's given me a lot to think about and re question myself. I want to bring the best out in people. I want to tap into my full potential. I want to and am capable of being so much more. And there's so much I want to learn about, such as true unconditional love for everyone and the limitations as humans we have. I need some intellectual stimulation. I need someone to ask the hard questions. If anyones down for a good conversation, let's grab some coffee. Someone rock my world please, intellectually speaking. hahaha

Goodbye Cali, Hello Seattle

Came back today from spending a few days in Seattle with the bestie. It was nice to get away from Cali and see her face and Seattle lifestyle, which is pretty different from Cali. Here we are in front of one of the signs of her school. It went by super quick & I had lot of fun. & I made it through the bipolar weather despite being a weather baby. haha I am wearing 4 layers in this picture.

Things I Did

- met a lot of Steph's friends

- Ice blocking at night, basically you buy blocks of ice and you place a towel on them and you ride them down a grassy hill. kinda dirty, kinda fun

- Pikes place, it seems kind of similar to SF fisherman's wharf to me. & they were selling sooooo many beautiful flowers

- Went to the 1st Starbucks opened

- Canoeing into the wilderness and freeways haha we got to see birds, fed the ducks right next to canoe and also scare turtles away

- Saw the city at night

- Went to the Seattle bars

- Molly Moon's ice cream

- Walked around the University of Washington

- Went to a boba place called WOW that played old school Christian music and the plastic that seals the cup each has a bible verse on it. haha interesting concept, but it's a really popular place and their smoothies are delicious

- Pushed a van in a busy street. haha We were a sight to see. At least there were some friendly people that helped

- Baked apple pies, lemon bars and brownies, we smelled delicious.

That's basically the gist of it. :) It was a good time spent. & I am exhausted. Goodnight.

Tiffanyisms

It's getting late into the night and I finally have time to myself. For the longest time, one of my favorite parts of the day is right before I fall asleep and i'm laying in bed thinking about a vast majority of things. Sometimes my thoughts are superficial and sometimes they run deep. Hands down though my favorite part is that moment of utter relaxation as I drift into a sweet reverie. That transition is something wonderful. That is why I get excited for sleep sometimes in the day. These days now i've been way too busy. I'm always out doing something, I honestly don't know where all my time goes. Although I might whine, I actually really like it though because I feel like i'm really productive in all areas of my life. My life basically equals school, internship, part time job, friends and long weekend trips. I'm going to Seattle this week to finally visit my best friend at her school. And then the week after i'm flying back home to Norcal for a few days. Time is going by so fast on the reals.

Anyways, I don't really have anything to share so here are random thoughts or random facts about me. Tiffanyisms are what we'll call them.

1. I am solar powered. My energy level and mood are largely affected about the amount of sun there is.

2. I've only craved pho once. I never crave pho and the one time I did, it was a cold night so I wanted something warm. And I was dating a Vietnamese guy at the time so maybe I was subconsciously thinking of him. hahaha But no really, I think it was just because it was pretty cold that night. And I am a huge weather baby.

3. I believe conditioner bottles should be larger than shampoo bottles. Who the hell really uses a 1:1 ratio of that? Those bastards, making me run out of conditioner way before my shampoo so I have to go buy more and keep on going with this uneven amounts of shampoo bottle to conditioner bottles.

4. I am a liquid fiend. I may drink slowly but I consume lots of liquids such as juice, pmt, coffee, all except for water though. I have to consciously remember to drink water.

5. I think Japanese restaurants should stop taking Monday off because many times for some damn weird reason it is just on that day, I really crave Japanese food and then I get there to find out they're closed. *cough FUKADA cough* A little part of me dies every time. Get with the rest of the Asians like the Chinese/Korean/Vietnamese and work 7 days a week, 24 hours. Just because you've been here longer than the rest of us, you 5th generations Japanese, don't mean a thang! Kay thanks!

6. I believe that behind every great Chinese/Japanese/PMT restaurant, is a great set of Mexican cooks.

7. I believe the meanest prank would be to shoot a whole bunch of boba at someone's car, completely covered with boba like you had a white car but it turned black status. That would be a bitch to clean up. Don't do this to me, I will hurt you.

Wow sorry I think my sea salt coffee was laced with haterade cause I just realized that most of this list was more hating than loving. haha Whoops!

Anyways, can't wait for Wednesday to get here cause i'll be leaving for Seattle then! :)

Economy

"These days with the tight economy, you hear so much in the media about economizing. But that's almost always about "how to get more for less" ... how to clip a coupon or find a bargain. But I think we're missing what could be the golden epiphany of these hard times: We shouldn't be asking ourselves "How can we afford it?" We should instead be asking, "Do we really need it?" There's lots of social science that shows that once you're above poverty level, more money and more stuff doesn't contribute to happiness. I believe that most Americans would be happier, and the quality of their lives would increase, if they would only spend and consume less. If you believe as I do, I think there will be a lot of upsides to the current recession in the long run. "

A Simple Story

A boy walks down the street; he passes by a whole bed of flowers. Flowers were God's creation to bless the world, to bring people happiness. Each flower is unique. God created each flower to have its own worth, beauty and purpose in the world. One specific flower catches this boy's eye for a moment, it is a rose almost about to bloom. Its beauty and scent entrances him for a moment and in that moment, he decides to pick the rose. He is no florist, he is no gardener, he does not harness the skills to care for this rose, but caught in the moment, those thoughts are pushed aside and he stands there holding the rose in his hand admiring it. He continues to walk down the street, holding the rose up smiling at the way the sunlight hits it's red petals, the way the scent slowly wafts and surrounds him. The rose is his and he is happy. Instant gratification has taken place.

Further down his walk, the rose without proper care such as trimming the stem and water, starts to wilt. The boy notices and his happiness slowly starts to dissolve. He tries at first to care for the flower, but he is no florist, he is no gardener, he is a boy. He does not possess the passion and enough love to care for this rose. The boy stares at the rose for a second and decides the best decision is to throw the rose away. The initial excitement, the moment of entrancement has long gone. The rose lays on the sidewalk, further wilting.

Picking up the flower, he did not know the full responsibility that came with the flower. There are many flowers out there and this is just one among the many. Had the boy left the rose in its place, the rose could've been admired by other passer byers. The gardener could have taken care of it in its garden and allowed it to fully blossom. The florist could have cultivated the rose and placed it in a gorgeous bouquet for someone to truly admire its beauty. It could have fully bloomed and reached its full potential. The rose was meant for greater things in this world, but that one boy who couldn't keep his hands to himself, took that rose away from that. He didn't think about the greater picture, he couldn't care for the rose the way it needed to be cared for. He was just a boy. And the rose lays wilting on the sidewalk.

But the beauty of it all is that God can make all things and people new again.

Video Blog #1

Haven't been around much, was in LA yesterday and I got woken up early because i'm going to be in SD today. So I know you guys miss me, but don't fret, I gotchu! I recorded this the other night when I came back from something and...I am an absolute dork, I know. Just bare with me. haha Thanks!

Note: I already knew what celluite was, but I couldn't think of any other words I didn't know because if I didn't know them, then.....I wouldn't have been able to come up with the word. Make sense? Kinda a Catch-22. haha

Things to work on:

1. BE LESS AWKWARD.

2. Stop fidgeting.

3. BE LESS AWKWARDDDDDDDDD

Hope you didn't cringe too much watching it! And congrats if you made it all the way through! Because....I couldn't. haha

The Roads A Little Uneven

Today I woke up with a nice little surprise. My left eyeball was red. My face went into WTF mode when I saw that in the mirror. My poor eye. & no, it is not pink eye, I don't fart on my pillows and sleep on them. I got just a little bit more class than that, only a little though. haha So I set an apt for a walk in at the optometrist today.

Long story short, my eyes aren't infected but they're dry and were being restricted by my contacts and lack of oxygen yadda yadda. So I need to wear glasses for a week or so. And my left eye is in worse condition since it's red. However, I left my glasses in Norcal during spring break so I have to wait for my parents to Fed Ex/UPS them to me. So i'm not supposed to wear contacts in the meantime but I gotta be able to see so the optometrist told me to just wear one contact till I get my glasses since my right eye isn't as bad condition in my left. Dude, let me tell you, it feels weird.

My left eye is naturally worse than my right eye normally, so only having good eyesight in one eye gives me an unbalanced feeling. There's a certain distorted perception. But I find this so relevant to my life. I have one eye that can't see that well and is infected and can't make things out to what they are. But I also have one good eye that picks up the slack and has good sight. Together I can get by but it's not to my full potential and I feel unbalanced, uneven and uncomfortable. How can one eye see so perfectly but one eye be so inept. It's dragging the team down. How can you see such opposite sides of the spectrum and still be the same. Anyways, I gotta get more than my eyesight in check. Well I just gotta wait for my glasses and time for it to heal. Then i'll be back on top of my game. And those who like seeing me in my glasses, they're in luck because i'll be wearing them for a little while. It's nice because people automatically think i'm more mature and smarter. Which I am, btw. haaaaaaaaaha no really, I am!

Side note, we've been trying to have a weekly tradition of roomie dinners where one of us cook a meal for the apt. Jessica the Cambodian (on the way right) cooked us salad, bruschetta, pasta with clams and some wine on the side. It was really yummy. Next week, Vicki (the middle one) is supposed to cook and then me. Last week Lily (on the way left) brought home food from home and cooked us Vietnamese food. It was really good too! but a lot of fish sauce was involved. I hung out with some friends afterwards and they all made comments throughout the night that I smelled. Damn the Vietnamese. hahaha jk.

sorta. :P

Sweet & Sour

This week and weekend has been full of randomness, pretty faces and fun. Laser tag, fields, nearby wolf/coyote attack, mexican fruit carts, free Common, B.O.B & the Cool Kids concert, Class 302, Tastea & babysitting on Good Friday. My arms are sore, my legs are tired, my tummy is full and I am just exhausted. But I am thankful for these times, it puts the last quarter of my senior year to a good start.

Today was Easter Sunday. I remember when it used to mean just being the best at finding eggs and eating all the candy later. But it means so much more. I went into the service hoping to listen to some good Word because i've been dry lately and i've been craving to hear a good message, a reminder of the God I live for. So I went in into today's service with the mindset of the son who had left home and wandered away and spent all his money but finally came back to his father. However the message of David and Goliath was spoken, and although it may have hit others, it missed me. But I am reminded that I can not count on Sundays to be my main meal course, I need to constantly pursue Him in my own time. Why am I so stubborn and lazy? I am waiting for someone else to sweep my off my feet with His word, rather than going to the word myself. I've known this forever but never made a change. And this seems to be my tag line but they say it's insanity to do the same thing over and over and expect different results.

Time to change it up and try something new.

No reason in finding people to feed you, when you can just feed yourself.