Nothing New Under The Sun

Once in awhile you feel unoriginal. And i'm not just talking about how my name is Tiffany Wong. You feel as though every emotion you've ever had, every situation you've ever been in, every way in which you've existed is a repeat of someone's history. And best case scenario, it's not a total repeat but a spin off. You may be described to have the grace of Audrey Hepburn, the humor of Ellen DeGeneres, the independence of Joan the Arc or the relationship instability of Kim Kardashian, but everything described about you is in terms of other people. Ya feels me? Anyone? You ever hear of that theory that every sound has been produced in this world already by nature? No man made sound is truly original because nature has already created it.

At this point in time, I am no Beethoven's No. 5 Symphony, I am no Michael Jackson's Thriller, I am a mash up of all the influences i've let into my life. And it's a beautiful thing really, to make sense of all the unconventional pairings of the things, situations, people and places that have shaped my life. Although you may never be something completely new, you are still unique.

Whoopsy

Sorry for the neglect blog, I just haven't had enough inspiration or epiphanies lately. And all the good stories I have, I end up sharing them in person and would just end up lame or snooty online. Sigh. My online life is dying. I will try to revive it.

BUT I AM ALIVE, just in case you were worried.

Invisible Chains

If invisible chains could simply be cut off by a pair of invisible scissors, life would be a lot easier.

The Collector

Came across this on one of the blogs i follow, luluandyourmom. I've probably followed her for over a few years now. I came across her blog on a forum once, intrigued by her fashion and become more intrigued by the little bits of her life she did share and her thoughts. Thought this was something special, and it's inspiring me to write more and maybe post a little of old bits i've written before that definitely are not nearly as well written.
the collector

His place was like a museum. There was so much art everywhere. I went upstairs to use the bathroom. More art wrapped up in paper. "Careful not to touch anything," I told myself. Then I tripped on a vacuum cleaner... damn.

I was his object.

In the morning, I woke up next to him; it felt nice to be close. I noticed he put up a new painting. Pretty. I watched him get ready to take a shower; a cue for me to get dressed.

On my way out, he asked me, "How's your life?" to which I responded by looking away. He asked me again, "How's your life?"

"It's fine," I said.

Except it wasn't fine.

"I read your Facebook. The one about the girl in the New York Times. It was funny."

I couldn't remember what he was talking about. He was reading up on me. But I was right here.

"Are those shoes new?"

I wore them on our first date.

"Did you cut your hair?"

Like a month ago.

Collectors are like that. They don't have to interact with their beloved objects all the time. It's just... there. And every now and then they take an interest, but otherwise, there's no upkeep. His life was like a museum. Well curated. But poorly kept.

In An Ideal World

Sometimes I wish that the weather were always warm. And that my fridge would be completely filled up with bacon and milk tea.The dress code norm would be an over sized tee and boy short undies that say something spunky on the tush, like "No entering" or something of that sort. And that I would have a kick ass fanny pack to carry everything so I would always have my hands free to do whatever they'd like, whether it'd be slapping a ho or making it rain. And I would have my own reality show or talk show to speak all the gibberish I normally speak, but the only difference is that i'd actually get paid for it. Is that just too much to ask?

Story Of Our Lives

‎"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned the hard way that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the most of it without knowing whats going to happen next."    - Gilda Radner

Oh Silly Me

So I volunteered at this camp called the National Junior Sports camp for this week. It's a really cool camp because it's a week long camp for kids in wheelchairs. Anyways, today was the last day and it was counselors versus the campers in a game of softball. So I was helping this really cute 10 year old boy named Galen, and while all the campers were boo-ing the counselors, Galen was actually rooting for the counselors! Who roots for the opposing team??? Every time they got a home run, i'd be like "Noooo!!!" and he'd yell "Yay! Go counselors!" When I first heard that, I was super surprised and asked him who he wanted to win, which he replied the counselors. And then I asked him why, and he said it was because "I like the counselors." That totally pulled at my heart strings, super aw right?! Who in the world roots for the other team and not your own just because you like them? Everyone likes to win! Who the heck wants to lose?

But then later on I find out, it wasn't so much he liked the counselors as he liked one specific girl counselor and wanted them to win because of that. T_T Yeah, not so aw anymore. Sigh, so basically lesson learned. Boys are boys at any age and you just can't expect anymore than that.

Ummm...This Needs To Be Me

Freakin' lovelovelove this look and feel. Cream coloring, silky dress mixed with cashmere cardigan, chunky necklace. YUMS.

Bruises

Sometimes you get hurt and a bruise will form. And sometimes the bruise will show up right away and at other times it will take longer to develop. Either way it's just a matter of time of when the bruise will show up. And when it does, it decides to make that wonderful ugly mix of colors, like an artwork you just don't understand. Visually or physically when you accidentally touch it and it hurts again, it's a reminder. Bruises are reminders of that pain you experienced of that time you walked into that bench or that time some little kid accidentally kicked you. And all it takes is time for them to disappear. And then it's like it never happened. But at the time you have that bruise, it hurts just a little less every day.

You could say this is a metaphor for those times you've felt pain in your life, but as for now, I really just have a bruise on my inner ankle from when someone kicked me in soccer and it's turning out this really ugly thing. 

Curiosity

One of the hardest things in life is denying the things you feel you are entitled too, or the things you want. We believe that stopping things at the root is the easiest to do because it can only get so much harder when you've already stepped into it, right? And for some, that is. But I believe sometimes it's the hardest to stop things at the root, before the damage is done. Because instead you'll leave yourself wondering the what ifs and what nots until it drives you nuts. The curiosity kills you. It's like telling someone not to think about an old granny in a bikini and all of a sudden that's all you think about. (Did you just have a mental image in your head? Gross huh?) It's the endless possibilities of that situation that drive you crazy, thinking that you're pretty sure what you want wouldn't be good for you, but wondering if it might actually be that one exception. That it might just be the best wrong decision you make. Then again sometimes you get what you want, only to find out it was more than you wanted and more than you could've handled and ultimately, not what you actually wanted at all. And then you go back and think that maybe stopping your wants at the root was the easiest choice, that it wasn't worth the aftermath of the decision. But hey, at least now you know and you won't be wondering anymore.

Relative Truth

One of the things i've learned in the latter part of life is that people lie. I grew up with honest parents who really valued honesty and instilled this quality in the foundation of my upbringing. And other than little white lies, i've never told a major lie to my parents. I'm not afraid to claim responsibility of my actions. Also most of my really close friends know i'm not very good at lying unless for a good cause or if I really try to. I have problems even telling the people at Starbucks a fake name. Being misunderstood is one of the most annoying things ever because I hate having people believe in the wrong thing. In dramas and TV shows, misunderstandings are what keep the shows going on, but I cringe every time I see it happening. And as people we unconsciously tend to expect others to do what we ourselves would do. So I tend to trust what people say to be the truth. Some may call that being gullible, but I call it being trusting.

The craziest thing though is that sometimes people may think they are telling the truth, when in fact they're lying. They may not even be aware that they're lying. They tell the same lie over and over in hopes of it becoming the truth someday. And they're afraid to admit it because then they'll no longer be able to believe in the lie they've been telling themselves.

The truth is relative.

My Favorite

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Yes

Came across this on my newsfeed facebook when my friend (Emma) posted this on someone's wall, totally stalker-esqe I know. haha But it's good stuff and I just want to share this with all y'all.


“Don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.”
— Stephen Colbert




Let's learn to say yes to more things, yes? 


(Unless it's drugs or prostitution or something, the only thing growing from saying yes to those are debt and STDs, just sayin') 

Little Affairs Of The Heart

"But none of these really satisfy, and so we find ourselves trying to fill the remaining emptiness with our little indulgences (we call them 'bad habits'. Brent Curtis calls them our 'little affairs of the heart.' They are what we give our hearts away to instead of giving them to the heart of God."

"Little affairs of the heart" I like that. It aligns with one of my viewpoints. I came upon realization my Sophomore year of college that my relationship with God wasn't healthy/right if I was wanting other things, whatever they might be. If I was in a good relationship with God, why would I seek out for other things and not Him?

Anyways, that quote is an excerpt from the book Captivating  by John & Stasi Eldredge. I've actually had this book since my freshman year in college. Our small group bought the book together and were supposed to read it. It about "Unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul." I read the first chapter and tossed it aside regretting that I spent $22.99 on this hardcover book. If you read the flap jacket of the book it starts off "Why do little girls love to dress up in twirling skirts? Why do they dream of a day their prince will come and together they will live in a great adventure? Because that is the heart God set within every woman. That is the role she was created to play--to be a valiant and beautiful woman whose life changes the world."

Can you see why I tossed the book aside? Kinda cheesy huh? I could not identify with that at all and thought that it had more cheese than nachos. Growing up, I never fantasized about my wedding, or that some prince would come save me and we'd live happily ever after. Maybe it was because I was too busy digging worms up after school with my guy friend and putting the worms in cups meant to take home but left on the tables at school, or maybe it was I was too busy throwing my baby doll in the tree to help knock my friend's Barbie that was stuck in the tree since we were seeing how high we could throw them. I'm not saying I was a complete tomboy as a child, I did play with Barbies and took ballet and jazz but I just imagined myself a little more independent and stronger than to dream of a rescue from a prince. I think I just never thought I needed to be rescued, which kinda explains why Mulan was my favorite Disney princess movie while growing up (okay so she's not an official Disney princess but whatever! in my heart she is! haha). But anyways, fast foward some years I finally decide to give the book more of a chance (after skipping the first couple chapters) and i'm glad I did because it's more than that. And while i'm still reading it, probably also from a more mature point of view, but I can definitely see some valid points and actually relate to them. And i'm learning. I guess i'm more of a girl than I thought. haha

So just thought i'd share. Nice to see my $22.99 isn't completely wasted. haha

How To Build A Ship

There are red ships and blue ships.
But the best kind of ships are friendships.

When you were growing up, it seemed so easy to make friends. You both used to played Neopets and Poke mon and laughed about farts, and that was the foundation of your friendship. But when you grow up, it just doesn't work the same in how you make friends. And when you really sum it up, there are only a few ways in making friendships.


Way 1:  History/Circumstances

You grew up together from childhood, or awkward pre-teen years, high school, etc. My best friend is a prime example of this. We both agree that if we met each other in this present day we could be friends but we most likely wouldn't be best friends. It's our history that really brought us together, and we're lucky that it just kept working out. 12 years on going and still no real fight yet. haha

Way 2: Experience

You went through something together and it brought you closer, like a missions trip or you get stuck in the middle of no where. Either way, you have an experience together.

Way 3: X Factor

There's chemistry between you two, like peas in a pod you just click, you hit it off. This one doesn't happen, but when it does it's pretty frickin' awesome to have that connection.


Way 4: Attractiveness (My friend actually brought this one up)

You're attracted to each other and want to get to know each other. I think this pertains more to the opposite gender. But maybe you start off attracted to each other, hang out and realize that you just work as friends. Or you actually date. haha In my case I don't know how often this one has worked, because i've never really been attracted to my close guy friends.

But there you go, these are the ways to build a ship.

Lipstick

So i've finally have taken a little step further in the grown up woman work and purchased a couple of lipsticks. I bought a Coral & a bright red one labeled "Moulin Rouge." It's actually pretty fun to play with and adds some pop to any simple outfit. I definitely think every girl should own a lipstick to add some jazz and a rockin' pair of heels that make them feel like they own the place.

I'm still more of a lip balm and gloss kinda girl, so all this color is kinda crazy for me but I do definitely want to experiment with lipstick some more. I'll probably only wear the lipstick when i'm going out at night once in awhile, but I decided to try out the coral one in the daytime today. With my leather jacket, lipstick and pale skin, I kinda felt like a bad @$$ goth girl. Not really the look i'm going for but whatever, that's cool I suppose....hahaha  Anyways, I snapped a shot of myself with my phone while I was waiting for my friend in the car.

Kind of a lame update on my life...but at least you get to see my face? ^___________^ hahaha Ok as you can tell, i'm still as lame as ever.

Hair

Why can't my hair do something like that? I want to try that out someday, but too bad i'm too noob.

The Learning Curve

Oh man, i'm learning a lot these days. These days i've been observing more, people and their interactions and what they mean. Basically people watching, but up close. It's interesting. And I really want to start dressing up engineers and match making them. That would make me the happiest. It's seriously my dream job, especially in this land of Man Jose. I could call my matching making business D2M, Date 2 Mate. hahaha Okay, I could use a little more work on the title.

Magic Letdown

Sometimes I wish the Magic 8 ball could just answer all my questions, maybe if I shook it a little harder...

Haters Gonna Hate

So i've noticed that multiple people on Facebook have been posting the same Youtube videos. And what do those videos have in common? Cantonese girls.





Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?! I know Cantonese girls do get kinda loud, but we're not like this! And actually the second video was staged because there's another clip out their of the same people doing basically the same thing in a different location. Weird.

I mean it's great that Cantonese girls are getting to be a little more known so it's not all about the Koreans, but this is just bad publicity. We used to just be known for dim sum and that Dim Sum lady song but I guess the Cantonese rep isn't really going anywhere up. People just be hatin' cause they jealous.

On a real note though, these videos were pretty entertaining to watch and there is a little truth to it from what i've seen when I studied abroad to Hong Kong. haha BUT THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO CANTONESE GIRLS.

Uh....Cause I'm AWESOME?!?!

I have been referred to as the female version of Barney before. I am also labeled Robin in a group of my friends and we all know Robin is technically the female version of Barney. But being a female Barney is basically being a female douche. How awesome... hahaha But we all know I am not a female douche. O=) Perhaps it's my love for inappropriate jokes, corny jokes, dressing up, coining terms for the most absurd things,trying to make the most mundane things the most epic, having a hard exterior but soft interior, having a black brother or my love for laser tagging that has (laser) tagged (harhar) me a female Barney. I brought my women's small group  and brother small group to laser tagging once and they all loved it. They also all created their alias names as "Tiffany Wong #__" It wasn't fun getting shot by 23something different Tiffany Wongs. -____- I tried to choose "Mother Tersea" as my name,  but was sadly denied because religious figures are not allowed so I choose "Mommy's Home" instead. And just like Barney, I didn't restrain myself from shooting the little kids that were in the game with us. Hey, all is fair in love and laser tag!

On the another note, i've started to write "The Ho Code" in response to "The Bro Code" (which I have thanks to J.Tang who got it for me for my birthday). I'm not very far on it so if anyone would like to help contribute, do let me know!

Sympathy Vs. Compassion

"May God break my heart so completely that the whole world falls in."

- Mother Teresa

The one quality that i've always admired the most about Mother Teresa was her compassion for people. People are self indulgent and at most times, the most we can feel for one another is sympathy. With sympathy you are able to empathize with a person. Compassion is a whole other level of care, it's not only empathizing with a person but being able to share their pain as part of your own and doing something about it. Compassion comes from God's love. Compassion is this crazy love that our world could use. In today's world we are numb to each other's said and unsaid needs, the pains in each other lives. Abandoned children, single mothers, the bullied, the homeless, the neighbor with the daily bruises on her arm, the boy from the broken family, but i'm not saying that everyone must have an extreme case or a story, even a friend who holds this unshared shame in their heart, or the person who feels lonely or empty . Everyone has some sort of pain in their lives, we just don't take the time to care. We don't find the need to do so. We don't know how to love one other as God loves us.

The beautiful thing about compassion is that there is no hierarchy involved. It is pure love. I read this in a devotional I did awhile back and it really touched me. "God made His own Son 'to be sin' that He might make the sinner into a saint. It is revealed throughout the Bible that our Lord took on Himself the sin of the world through identification with us, not through sympathy for us. He deliberately took on His own shoulders, and endured in His own body, the complete, cumulative sin of the human race. 'He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us. . .' and by so doing He placed salvation for the entire human race solely on the basis of redemption."

Is that not beautiful? He did not feel sorry for us, but he wanted to identify with us. That's what made Jesus' death so meaningful, through him we are able to have a relationship with God because he died for our sins. As much as we want to feel unique and special in the world, we're ultimately looking for a connection. For someone to know what we're going through and not feel sorry for us, but to connect from it. We want someone to know who we are inside and out and still love us. God called us to be compassionate people. Compassion is not something you can learn or be taught. It's a heart matter. It's being transformed by God and living out His love in everyday life.

Mother Tersea is such an inspiration to me and I hope one day to have even a quarter of the compassion she had in her heart. 

Open the eyes of my heart Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours.

The Truth About Raccoons

Today I found out that raccoons are NOT cute. I was in my car on the phone when I saw these two fat things heading my way. At first I thought they were really fat cats until they started hobbling closer and closer when I realized they were raccoons! I actually freaked out as one headed towards closer and closer to my side of the car only to disappear with its counterpart underneath me. I was in the phone freaking out to my friend thinking it'd somehow attack me, even though I knew I was safe in the care. The trash cans in our neighborhood must be feeding them well because they were like huge balls of fat, they had no neck at all! It was head....then body. No neck! And they way they move is so ungraceful, like hobbling limping rats or something. Freakin' monstrous looking things.

This picture does not do the ones I saw justice. The ones I saw were creepier, fatter and uglier than this. WTF. I THOUGHT RACCOONS WERE CUTE. But they're like giant rodents! I don't know what the people were thinking when they drew cartoon versions of raccoons. Cause raccoons in real life are NOT cute! And they're dangerous cause they maul people! The stupid media had me thinking they were so cute, cuddly and nice! They make these adorable stuffed animals or cartoon pictures or when they appear in Disney movies all you do is go awwww. But in reality, they are monstrous. It's like when a girl takes a picture with bright lighting at the right angle with hella make up on. Deceiving shit.

I was tricked.

Late Night Delusions

Silence ensues the room. It's not terribly late, but it's funny how the silence in the house and streets can make you feel like it is. It's also interesting how those factors can make you feel like you're the only one up, even though you know that across the world at this same moment people are waking up to start their day. But for now it seems like the other half of the world doesn't exist. For now, it's just my laptop, my bed and me that exist at this very moment. I love moments like these, it's the ultimate "me time." All that exists are my thoughts, reflections and peace. It feels as though i'm isolated from the world, where the world's noises and requirements have gone off to bed like the rest of the people I know. It's strangely soothing to the soul. Another day has past and tomorrow is a new one to embark on. And sometimes all it takes is one day to change the rest of your life, will tomorrow be just one of those days?

Comprende?

I've noticed something. When someone shares a problem with someone, the person automatically tries to do two things. First, they try to pinpoint the problem/issue and then second, they try to solve it by giving their advice on how to handle it. Although at times the person may share in hopes of seeking a solution, I believe at times that another reason a person shares is to just simply share.

A common thing we may overlook is a person's wanting to be understood. Sometimes what the person really wants and needs is understanding, to have someone relate and understand what it is they're going through. What i'm talking about is not having sympathy and feeling sorry, but empathy and compassion. I have more thoughts on this but I can't sort them out at the moment. The main point is that I think understanding is understated. Being able to truly understand is how the start of how you can actually help a person. Understanding lets a person know they are not alone. And actions of help with understanding why makes a huge difference.

Understanding is really difficult though. How can you understand and feel what another person is going through? How can you relate to poverty in Africa when you've rarely skipped a meal, and that was probably because you were busy studying and getting an education? How can you relate to the homeless when you've had a roof over your head since birth? How can you relate to abuse when the only bruises you've receive were from tripping over something? This is where God comes in. God's love is able to connect it all. Pray for compassion. Oh man, I could say more but if I keep writing this post will be way too long. I'll stop here and finish up with another post to expand, but ya feels me?

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me


Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I go from nothing to eternity

Eyegasms

I am having so many eyegasms. I am loving EVERY single outfit in this video. 

NYE 2011

NYE 2011 was super awesome! I'm too lazy to really post on it but pretty much people from all different circles of my life came together and it was so much fun celebrating the end of 2010 and beginning of 2011 with them. :) 

But here's to 2011,
here's to the year of constantly looking for insight and not padded answers,
here's to the year of a no holds barred attitude,
here's to the year of not being overcome by things but to overcome them,
here's to the year of action,
here's to the year of developing even stronger friendships,
here's to the year of showing love and care to everyone,
here's to the year of realizing i'm not perfect and that's okay,
here's to the year of challenging myself in every way possible,
here's to the year I will continue to strive to be the woman that God has made me to be.

here's to another year full of blessings of good friends, good family and good times.