Every Blessing You Pour Out, I'll Turn Back To Praise

I watched "Nine" recently. It wasn't really my type of movie and I didn't think it was all that great but one thing I took from it is that every girl likes to believe they're special by their man. That they're different from other girls and deserve to be treated differently, with more care. They don't like to be treated as, or thought of as the flavor of week. In the end, no one likes to think that they were like any other girl but instead they were special. Of course this is obvious information though, haha but it amazed me and displeased me how the main character treated his wife and every other girl. Women are meant to be treasured.

I believe God puts you in situations that He knows are testing your limits but still just enough for you to handle as long as you push yourself to. There have been a good amount of situations where I know my head didn't sit right, but I would just convince myself that it's okay and there is good in it. But in the end, I come out of the situation not by my complete choice. God knows better and He knows that i'm still not strong enough to defy my heart and listen to my head so He creates it so that the decision is half made for me and I must follow through. There's not so much as a choice, but obedience. And situations are only half of it, the acts and way you choose to deal with the situation says the most about you. I believe my character is best built in the way I handle things. No matter what, I always strive to take the high road and do things as maturely as I can so I can look back and say, "yeah that was the right thing to do, good job twong." I want to show that when it gets darker, I just shine even brighter. But I realize now that rather than dealing with the consequences, I need to first watch my actions. I don't want to have to do any more damage control. I'm tired of getting hurt and patching myself up. Instead of dealing with the aftermath of situations, i'm going to work on not even placing myself in these situations. I think i'm too naive about certain things and I look too positively about them. It's time to do it right. I want to stick to my ground and make the right choices upfront. But everything, i've gone through, I don't regret them. It's more accepting it for what it is, and to take a lesson and choose what you do with that experience. It's okay, everything is a learning process and I grow stronger. It's amazing how fast things can change and you're thrown into new situations with new goals and a new mindset, but you just gotta keep up and roll with the punches.

One day i'll meet the person that i'll fall in love with. He'll appreciate my horrible sense of humor that's a mix of lame, wacky & sometimes dirty and laugh at them. He'll fall in love with my good traits and love me even more for my flaws. And i'll do the same and learn to support him the best ways I can. And he will treat me like i'm the best thing that ever happened to him because I probably am, shun! hahaha just kidding. :) In the end, he'll be the one I just want to grow old with. And we'll be that cute, old shrunken asian couple you see that still holds hands when they go out. :) Until then..............single life, thas whats up! ;) haaaaaaaaaaa jokes jokes.

It's Called Being Human

i hate this feeling

i hate feeling weak. im a strong person, i really am. but sometimes i lead others on to think i'm stronger than i actually am. sometimes it is because of my pride, and sometimes it is because i care and don't want them to get hurt or feel bad in regards to me.

how can u discern whether or not you should care more for yourself?

when should you just deal and use the experience to make you stronger?

i think too many times i've chosen the latter and i'm really tired.

i hate to admit that i'm not that strong sometimes.

Parties and Mother Stories

If I was allowed to throw the greatest party ever, & all the guests i could invite would be guarented to come I would invite...

Tiffany's Legend...wait for it...dary Guest List:

stephen colbert

for politic comic relief

bobby lee

for some asian lovin'

ellen degeneres

for some lesbian lovin' and comic relief and bc she's just awesome

britney spears

for some crazy. who knows after a few drinks...she & ellen could be best buds.

taylor swift

for some good tunes

kanye west

so he could interrupt her

tiger woods

to start some drama

puck from glee

for some eye candy

the other asian in glee

just because i like them asians

tila tequila

for shits & giggles.

hmmmmmmm i might invite some other people, but that is one legit guest list right there. throw in some food, drinks and me and that would be the most epic party EVAR.

Anyways..........update on the mother stories.

Every time I come home my mom loves to hand me some advice.

There was that one time my mother told me to learn how to bake bc that's what apparently attracts guys.

one month later.....she then advises me that if I date two guys, to not let them know about each other.

Um.

1. Why are you telling me this first of all?

2. Why would you encourage this mom???

3. DUH! Why would I let them know about each other??? That's just common sense! Please mom, your daughter knows whatsup.

haha anyways This morning before I went to church, my mom told me not to drink and drive......because that's obviously very useful information before I go to church. And also because I slept at like 11PM the night before, yes I slept at 11PM on a Saturday night. I am lame, please do not judge. haha And during dinner, my mom tells me that she read that 10% of guys on Christmas day are looking for a one night stand and to be careful to not be tricked by guys...because you know on Christmas night, things get a little crazy..........right..........haha But that is sad and pathetic for guys to look for one night stands on Christmas. Way to try to cash in on someone's holiday loneliness. *sigh*

haha enough blabber. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Baby, It's Getting Cold Outside

You know sometimes when you study, and your leg falls asleep? Like...my left leg right now.......and when this happens while i'm studying, I get really sad and jealous because parts of my body are asleep but I am not! I know it's ridiculous to be jealous of like your own leg, but that's how it is! You wish you were asleep like your foot, but alas you are not and can not. Sigh* Fail. What a tease.

It's getting really cold, and rainy. I don't really like the cold and rain, :( I like warm weather and the sun, so my wardrobe consists mainly of summer wear even though......I am a norcal kid. I'm a little bit of a disgrace to norcal weather bc i'm a baby when it gets to cold weather but whatever, i'll just throw in some hella's and redeem my norcal pride. But anyways when it's cold and rainy, my favorite thing to do is drink hot coco with a lot of marshmallows and sleep listening to the pitter patter of the rain, knowing that I am dry and warm in my bed or.........drinking yogurt soju and eating ddukbokki isn't half bad either. :P Seriously, that hits the spot and reminds me of this one night I had in Hong Kong. :)

Mmmmmmmm, finals are here and I can not wait for them to be over. This quarter has kind of been extreme, I had four classes this quarter, all being upper div classes and one being Econometrics 122B (a.k.a the hardest econ class for Bus. Econ majors). And with those four classes, I have had 7 midterms & 1 group project/paper. What the kwakkkkkkkkkk?!?! MID-terms, as in middle of a term, they're not supposed to be every other week! I literally had a midterm every week, except one week and that is kind of ridic. But whatever, I handled it, decently enough at least.

But all in all, i'm thankful for many things. As for now though.......I wish my professors just believed that I actually learned something and didn't feel the need to test me. C'mon, i'm trustworthy! O:)

sigh* back to studying!

What's Up With Society?

Another theory of mine...

There are so many trends in our society and the media that come so fast, it's hard to keep up!

1. First we had the whole being lesbian thing. Examples: the Britney & Madonna kiss on TV, songs about being lesbian like Lady Gaga's "Poker Face." The song is actually about Lady Gaga saying that when she's with a man, she is really thinking of a woman and keeps on a poker face. And then the song "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry. Did you know Katy Perry started out as a Christian singer at first? And then Lindsay Lohan went lesbian on us, aside from becoming lesbian, girl has issues period. And also that whole Tila Tequila reality show about choosing a man OR woman for her dating life. Not gonna lie, but uhhh...I kept up with that show my sophomore year. haha it was intriguing and had its moments. But yeahhhhhh anways, point and case.

2. Second, the whole Indian thing was becoming popular. Bombay par-tayyyyyyyyyy. Slumdog Millionaire came out, GREAT MOVIE btw, and Indian girls are really pretty. Indian guys however....there are some but it's not common....at all. Anyways, Jai Ho was on the radio and even the Pussycat Dolls sang a version of it and in the music the girl dresses like an Indian even though she's not, but she really passes off as it. For our Senior banquet, ever year I push the Bombay party as the theme for it but i'm always shot down. However last year, they made the mistake of asking me to point lead it....muwahhaha and I had our whole Edge class dance do a Jai Ho performance, which was AMAZING BTW.

3. Third, cougars!!! Hot moms, and cougars. There are shows and dang, I don't know. Cougars are just really in at the moment! There's a show that Courtney Cox does called The Cougar, it's a series not a reality show but it's not very good, which made me really sad because I thought there was a lot of potential there. But the show just isn't really well written. Anyways, there was also a cougars convention in SF this summer. http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/2009/08/hello_ladies_fur_flies_at_bay.php?page=1 As you can see these pictures, the women are not that hot for cougars but silicon up the wahoooooooooo for sure. Maybe the economy is bad and boys are looking for sugar mamas but there is a growing demand for cougars and there's a good amount too!

In conclusion, according to all these fads the hottest thing right now should be an Indian woman who is a cougar who goes for younger girls. Hm...........oh society, what have you done to us?

Because Love Is Good

I love fat stuffed animals

I love waking up to a room full of sunshine

I love finding out that I have all my pairs of sock in the laundry

I love earrings

I love starving for a day then eating all you can eat Krn BBQ for dinner with ice cream

I love my friends

I love it when people laugh at my jokes

I love baking egg tarts for people I like

I love trying new things

I love surprises (good ones)

I love finding out something was cheaper than you thought at the register

I love hugs (from certain people)

I love juice & pmt & thai iced teas

I love sleeping in the car when someones driving

I love scenic drives with good music

I love spontaneity

I love deepening my relationships

I love girly alcoholic drinks

I love the smell of fresh laundry

I love good conversations

I love cheap hangouts

I love it when people are more awkward than me

I love it when people try to make me smile

I love it when I brighten someone's day

I love honesty and genuineness

& last but definitely not the least...

I love sleep. So goodnight. going to work on my paper later at the time crunch, sighs.

You Do What You Gotta Do

Do you have a friend who studies last minute the night before and gets an A? The friend who plays all day and then starts to cram at 2AM and gets that A? Or the the who parties all night, wakes up at 5AM and writes their 15 page essay and somehow manages to get an A-? And don't you hate that friend? It sucks.

Now would you rather work really hard and earn an A,

or barely put any effort, do it last minute and earn an A?

Majority of us would choose the latter.

Why is that?

What is so horrible about the idea of putting so much of yourself into something in hopes to achieve great results? But we all rather take the easy route and hope to reap the same benefits. The thing is we're lazy. We rather work half as hard and earn just as much.

But that's not how it should work, and actually that's not how the world works.

Maybe we're afraid of failure. We're afraid to put yourself out there and failing because you end up with nothing and you're hurt. And you might look dumb. But if you were to just half ass something and not get the desirable results, then you see it as well deserved and you didn't really risk anything so it's no big deal.

But if you were to put in the effort and excelled at it, wouldn't you putting in all that effort make it so much more worthy? Would you feel so much more accomplished? And if you tried and failed, doesn't it say something about your character that you tried and gave it your all?

We, and certainly I, half ass a lot of things. I rather play it safe. That needs to end. I want to tap into that passion where I am not afraid to put myself out there. Where I hunger for it and am willing to work hard for it, sweat for it. We're meant to do some things in this world with all our heart, mind, body & soul. We need to start taking risks, and risk ourselves instead of half ass-ing things to get what we want. We need to start earning it.

Share what it is that you want right now.

Show me that you want it.

Labels Are For Soup Cans

A girl wearing a bathing suit at the beach is normal.

A girl wearing a bra and undies in public is not normal & slutty.

Now the thing is, they are both wearing just about the same amount. However we've labeled bathing suits as normal beach wear and bra and undies as things you wear under your clothes. If you were to wear your bra and underwear at the beach, even though it's the same amount you're showing, it'd be weird. The thing is once we've label something to be the norm, that's where it stays. & i'm not trying to say that bra & undies should be normal wear (sorry boys) but i'm just trying to use this example to lead into something. Labeling leads into imposed restrictions.

With that being said, I dislike being labeled. I don't like people making judgments on who they think I am and therefore holding restrictions on my identity and only seeing me in a certain view. Some people may first meet me and label me as a girly girl, but i'm not a girly girl. And some may get to know me and see me as a total tomboy, but i'm not a total tomboy. I'm both. I'm a lot of things. I absolutely hate it also when a person tells me they think I was a cheerleader in high school (not to diss any cheerleaders, bc honestly, I would have been down to try out but I wasn't down to pay the expensive dues) but I played basketball. I like proving people wrong and surprising them. I feel that once you label some one as something you are limiting their abilities. Self fulfilling prophecy. Let's say you label a guy as a jock, and the stereotypical jock is good at sports, kind of dumb and a player. What if he listens to people identifiying him as a jock so much that he just focuses on sports, never studies because he doesn't see the point since he's good at sports and no one expects brains out of him, and he only plays and breaks girls hearts because he's identified as a player and should only play around and never settle down so he misses out on getting to fall in love. We shouldn't be quick on judgments for each other. It's different observing someone and seeing who they are, versus being quick to judge and setting them up to follow through with your expectations.

When I have kids, I don't want to label them and force them to play the piano because that's what the typical Asian kid does, but instead I want to give them the opportunities to try things and see what they like. I want them to be more than just one thing, I want them to feel like they aren't limited to what they are good at but living life because it's about exploring and taking chances.

I have a great amount freedom, and I like trying new things and dislike being restricted. This is why i'm usually down for anything (not drugs though, that's a different point). We are meant for so much more than being labeled and seen in only one view. I'd like to think that i'm capable of many things and refuse to be limited. Today at church, Dave spoke on the topic of unleashing beauty. And he's right in the fact, that we have so much within us that we need to just let go and tap in into ourselves and let out the beauty within us. We are capable of so much, so don't label people, we are so much more than to be labeled just like a soup can.

btw, if you couldn't tell, I have a midterm tomorrow and i'm procrastinating. sigh* & I feel like shit because I think I got sick. Okay gotta cram and hopefully sleep early tonight to rest my body.

The Stars Are Bright Tonight

i love just who you are

i ain't gonna try to change ya

you are a shooting star

thats why you are my favorite

that part of the song makes me really happy

i see a lot of shooting stars :)

but i am the biggest shooting star, HEHE

okay just kidding, :( I am lame and am in need of sleep.

Meet F.A.T

Meet F.A.T. & i'm not going to tell you what it stands for cause.......eh there's no need. We are a set of 3 made of a Korean, Japanese & Chinese (it's probably not hard to guess which is which lol). But they are 2 of my really good friends. We've known each other since Freshman year when Ji & I were in the same small group (B.E.A.C.H.I.E.S) and Jason was in our brother small group (S.A.T.A.N). Acronyms all up in here for sure. haha They are a huge blessing in my life and i'm thankful for good company.

So Jason is Japanese but is wayyyyyy into Korean culture, like he knows some of the kpop dance moves shizz and Ji is Korean but is wayyyyyyy into the Japanese culture and can speak more Japanese than Jason. And I...am Chinese. hahaha Yea, I don't know those two need to be swapped. Anyways, I love spending time with them because we get each other and the three of us just mesh well and work.

Interesting Facts Quiz

Who do you think.............

1. Plays the most video games, i.e. DOTA, Left 4 Dead, Call of Duty?

2. Watches the most Korean dramas?

3. Had braces all throughout college till beginning of Senior year college?

4. Is the hairiest?

5. Watches anime?

6. Built their own computer?

7. Has finished a whole birthday cake by themself?

8. Has a tattoo?
9. One foot swells when dancing?

10. Dislikes feet?

11. Loves smirnoff ices?

Correct answers:

1. Ji

2. Tiffany

3. Jason

4. Jason

5. Ji

6. Ji

7. Tiffany
8. Ji

9. Jason

10. Tiffany

11. Jason & Tiffany

Now wasn't that fun?! haha gosh, i'm cheesy........btw you prob could figure out who was the gamer by looking at her headphone set. LOL

So I get a text from Ji asking if I want to run a 5k or 10k marathon. My first initial thought was OH HELL NO!!!!!!!! The only 5k I wanna see is 5k in my bank account, thas wassup. But she was really excited about the idea, training for it, and having a goal, yadda yadda all that good shiz. I don't know about running the whole thing but it'd be nice to say I accomplished a marathon in my life. But i'd mainly want to do this cause I want to support her and help her be accountable. So I guess i'm down............haha Jason is up for it and we're all going to be doing this together. Ji said apparently there's marathons at night where you run in the streets with music and dancers at each down point, and i'm definitely down for that. haha I really feel that this decision is going to come back and bite me in the ass though *sigh* Time to start using my jump rope more now as pre game training. hahaha

Anyone wanna volunteer that night to drive/wheelchair me out wherever my body collapses? thanks! <3

Reconnect

In high school, I used to find comfort in seeing my friends online really late at night when I was online late studying or doing whatever. It brought me comfort to know that I wasn't alone, especially during the frustrating times of studying. I could complain to them and we would bitch over things in a fun matter as in the "this sucks so much that there's no need for vacuum cleaners bc it sucked all the dirt in the world already" kind not the emo "eff the world!!!!! I want to go to a dark, dark hole where cute animals go to die and cry" kind. Now i've noticed that when you stay up late on AIM, old friends or friends you don't normally talk to IM you. It's a pleasant surprise when i'm studying and these random IM boxes pop up. I guess when you're all up for your own reasons, we like to connect with one another. We enjoy the company of one another, even when it's just online. And as the nights get later & later, your inhibitions also get lower & lower and you're more real with each other. Sometimes you have silly conversations and if you're lucky, you get a real good conversation once in awhile. Or I also like the short IM conversations that basically consist of them telling you to go to sleep because they care for your well being. It's nice to talk to a friend you usually don't talk to or haven't talked to in awhile. There's a reconnection.

I like that.

I Like You Just The Way You Are

Some people feel they need to prove themselves to people. Sometimes I watch this happen, and it makes me cringe. Like the cringe when you see a really awkward moment in a movie and that person just makes it worse by doing more awkward things, so you turn away because you can't watch it anymore cause it gets to the point where it hurts you to watch kinda cringe. It makes me sad because they're really actually embarrassing themselves. Like there's this one guy i've sort of known since freshman year, and all of a sudden he's doing things out of his character like getting his ears pierced and then makes a big deal about it, when it's really whatevers. And he does other things that are just weird because it's coming from him and it seems like he's trying too hard. I don't like it and I think it's super weird and by default, makes me not want to get to know him at all. It saddens me. Then again, I can't say much because I don't really know him, so i'm really not in any place to say anything but these are just my observances.

In all generality though, I wish people didn't feel like they need to prove themselves. I feel that today's society really cultivates those emotions. By throwing out so much visuals from the media among other things, it invokes the ugly side of being human. We get too much of a fcking high from looking down at people to feel superior, that results in people feeling incompetent because they fall short of whatever superficial standards we hold. There's a lot of negative energy in the world. We joke around with each other, taking jabs at each other for a good laugh (i'm guilty of this) and at times, it can be too much, too far. We can joke with each other but it should be at a healthy dose. We have to remember that we're here to lift each other up and encourage one another. If we did more encouraging, then maybe people wouldn't feel as pressured to change to fit in the social norms. I got keep on remembering that words go a long way and a simple smile or kind words can really uplift a person.

On-a-completely-superfical-side-note: Update on my purchases status. Today i opened the jump rope first. then immediate following by the opening of the chocolate, then the gummy bears. Then I jumped like 10 times, and my chocolate bar is half eaten now. Whoops. BUT we celebrated j.chiang's b-day and we ended up at dnbs. I played the jump rope a few times so it really just all balances out. It's my rationality and i'm sticking to it.

The Nights Are Young & I'm Only 21

Honesty comes out best late at nights. You're less inhibited and things come out so much easier. Especially when you just came back from a night out with the girls and even though you got some food in you, you're a bit buzzed still, but I will let you know that i'm definitely not the worst outta of us and second to the one in best shape, first being the DD. hahaha I still can take care of my friends, thats whatsup. Lily's in the closet right next to me throwing up in a bag as i'm blogging this...HAHA but i'm checking up on her & she's good. Anyways I do apologize ahead of time for the rambles i'm about to unravel.

Some times things are better left unsaid, but then some times things are better said. It's hard to discern between the two but in all honesty, people need to be just straight up sometimes. I hate it when people are passive aggressive. And on another sub note, actually never mind, i'll leave it there.

I'm very thankful for my community of friends, Christian & non-Christian. I'm blessed to have quite a good amount who really care and look out for me, and rejoice with me in my good times and empathize with me in the bad. I have my worries about things but my friends keep me in check and remind me how it is to be a woman in Christ. I remember when I used to be the one to spit out the legit reasoning to my friends, but the tables have turned. It's all about glorifying the Lord in all aspects of my life. I just have to remind myself and keep myself in check that i'm doing things with good intentions, a good heart and clean hands.

In the past I used to talk about this quite a bit but this is still a strong belief of mine. Do things with good intentions, and only then can good things come out of it. If you do things with bad intentions, bad things will follow through. If you do things with bad intentions, how do you expect any good to come out of it? It's like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, your roots are where it's at and only a good tree will bear good fruit. So here's to living to doing things with good intentions and clean hands. Holla.

Goodnight & thank God for daylight savings.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Backwards

So in attempt to finally be able to reach my 2 everyday goals (1. drink a water bottle a day, 2. jump rope everyday), I finally got myself to Target (my favorite) and bought a jump rope today. Did you know that they aren't in the toy's section??? I was dumb founded. Instead I found them in the Sporting Goods section, which for some reason really depresses me. I wanted a jump rope that was pink with like care bears or some other cute shit on the handles, but instead I got this ugly gray thing with blue handles. How depressing. Since when was jump rope such a serious thing? Well I guess the kid's jump rope wouldn't have worked out anyways since they're a lot shorter than I am. But still, why aren't there any cute jump rope for the kiddies? This is why the kids in America are so obese. I couldn't find my all time favorite skip it or any jump ropes, the good o' games of our childhood. There's no more active games for the kids, I mean how fit are kids really going to get with Barbies and Hot Wheels? I don't know. I'm going to trick my kids in the future to take out the trash as a game so they can get some fresh air and get some circulation in their legs.

As you can tell, I also purchased gummy bears (the white are my favs) and chocolate (the only chocolate without nuts/toffee I like is Lindor).

Buying of the jump rope: one step forward

Buying of candy: two steps backwards

At least we're moving somewhere!

I'll later update you in which ones get unwrapped first and last.

Stop Putting Me On Blast!

Damn.

So ill lil & I were at albertson's to pick up some essential items. Now I had just picked up some wings (chicken or actually lily and i both picked up the latter wings too, TMI probably), potato wedges & macaroni salad for dinner and didn't want my dinner to keep getting cold so ill lil is wondering what to choose for dinner and says to me she wants something healthy. I then say "Just get a healthy TV dinner and let's go!" And then like 20 feet away this tall, husky, rounded belly, white man yells back to me "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A HEALTHY TV DINNER!!!" What the heck?! Where did this large white man come from and why is he calling me out?! haha I make a comment about lean cuisines in my defense and he then proceeds to make jokes about cheese and makes jabs at my statement and i'm not really sure what he is saying because i'm just laughing since I don't know what to say and 1. I can't believe he heard my first statement like at least 20 feet away from me in the dairy area when i'm in another aisle and 2. Can't believe that he would put me, a poor defensive little azn girl (insert puppy dog eyes) on blast!

BUT WHY ARE PEOPLE CALLING ME OUT? First my professor and now tall, husky, white man. sighs.

On top of that, j.tang visits me at night, and as I drink my large can of Arizona Green tea with ginseng and honey (99 cent best deal ever), I miss my mouth and it hits my face.

What is going on with my life?!?!

Another Fail In My Life

So tomorrow is my midterm, once that is over I finally will get a small break from the blue books, scantrons and crying. I have one tomorrow, one last tuesday and one the week before and one the week before that. A cycle of horror! But tomorrow I will be in the best mood ever! :) Anyways, so filling out the study guide for my midterm tomorrow, I e-mailed my professor asking about one of the questions. This is the e-mail she sent me back.

"Hi Tiffany:  

We went over the trait-preference material three times in the last two days of class.  This leads me to wonder if you were paying attention.  A personality trait is a stable, long-lived determinant of behavior that is not really under your conscious control.  A preference is like being right handed and breaking your right arm.  You prefer to write with your right hand; but if the situation calls for it, you can switch to your left." 

*btw she didn't bold that

:( :( :( I felt so guilty when I read that but then I started laughing. Well I actually was really :( but many times I try and just laugh off the hurt. She called me out for sure. What a diss! haha I was paying attentionish! I've never missed a class! Then I went back into my inbox and I see she sent an e-mail to the class saying she was done answering midterm questions and was tired and going to bed. LOL I would be mad and call her names, even though it's my fault because that's the bitchycollegestudentthingtodo BUT I can't do any of that cause I actually really do like her as a teacher though. And she still did answer my question......haha But there's another Tiffany in the class though so I hope she mixes us up. :X hahaha

hahaha Damn, well............

The lesson learned: Pay attention in class.
The true lesson learned: E-mail from an anonymous account and use a fake name.

The Fails In My Life

Eff.

I haven't drank any water today.

This is no good for my One Waterbottle A Day Everyday Life Goal Plan.

I will now down this half full water bottle on my desk.

Done.

Sigh. Good enough.

Today I was supposed to wake up at 9:30 AM, half an hour before I usually get up cause i'm trying out this thing called, "eating breakfast" I hear it's good for you. So anyways my alarm didn't go off. My class takes attendance and I had a midterm afterwards too, so if I overslept that wouldn't have been too great. So I think God was kind enough to wake me up at 10AM (the time I usually would get up); however I think God is a little prankster because the way I woke up was that I pulled both leg calves muscle, you know those extremely annoying Charlie horses? So I laid in bed writhing in pain for a good 5 minutes before I got up. Thank you God for that loving wake up call.

A Peek Into The Past

Two midterms coming up this week, and of course a procrastination post is needed.

This is my favorite shirt.

(hence the awkward pointing at said shirt)

Wow, I look like a huge dork. But I guess you can tell I really like this shirt because i'm smiling so ecstatically that my eyes have actually disappeared in this picture. Anyways, this shirt is my favorite more than the reasoning of the immense amount of style it has but of the memories it holds. I've actually had this shirt since I was 6 or 7 years old, can't remember exactly. My parents put me in sports camp over the summer and I was in this co-ed soccer camp called Skyhawks. Soccer actually used to be my favorite sport. I used to say "Why does everyone like basketball? That's stupid, my favorite sport is soccer." I don't think I was very good at soccer though. All I was good at was running quickly, but there's a lot more to soccer than just running. I remember one time the ball flew into my stomach and knocked the wind out of me. Remember that I was just a 6/7 year old girl and this camp was co-ed and I was one of the smaller, and younger ones there. And then one game I was goalie, and the soccer ball hit my face, more specifically my eye. And it was that day on, that basketball became my favorite sport. I think the mere fact that I can use my hands to catch the ball if it comes flying at my face has a lot to do with my favoritism of basketball.

As a kid this shirt used to be pretty large on me. 15 years later though, surprisingly it's a perfect fit. I love throwing this shirt on and lounging around in it. It reminds me of my childhood. It reminds me of all the sports camps and summer camps that my parents put me throughout the years in my childhood. Plus the graphic design on the shirt, I definitely am feeling it. It's funny how we can recycle so many things. If you saw me wear this shirt, you wouldn't know the story behind it and what it means to me. There's a lot of stories out there about our friends that we don't know about. How many stories are there that our friends are keeping inside them and that we don't know?

I want to hear about each one of your stories.

Let's grab some coffee and share.

In Loving Memory

My sophomore year, i wrote your name down at the senior GRX as the senior that i wanted to get to know more.

you actually got in touch with me and we had lunch at gypsy den

you paid for my meal despite my refusals

you were so warm, hip and kind

i remember feeling so elated that you wanted to get to know the little me

you were this cool, pretty and wise senior and i was just some sophomore noob

& i felt so touched that you still wanted to spend time with me after our hang out

i remember the time we played racquetball and you laughed at my poor skills

i remember your great big smiling face as i barely made it to visit you during your graduation ceremony

i wish we had more memories together

i wish i called you up and hung out with you when i was in norcal

i wish i had one more hang out with you so i could soak up your presence once more

you are such a beautiful person inside and out

all this leads to my confusion

i dont understand.

you take for granted the time you have with a person.

you touched my heart & i'll never forget you

my prayers go out to your family.

you are so missed by many.

Rest In Peace CJ

Bitch, You Got An Itch?

Okay so the title of this post, really has nothing to do with what this post is about but I like rhyming and sometimes I like to pretend i'm all hard and ish. Thus the combination of the two led to that. I'm...awesome?

So I have some little everyday goals set up for myself.

1. Drink a water bottle a day.

Don't laugh nor mock me with your "one bottle? shoot, i drink 8 glasses a day!" Some of you know that I have a little difficulty with drinking water. :( Water to me is so bland and I only like drinking it if i'm doing sports or eating something spicy. SOOOOOOOOO, I have to constantly remind myself to drink water. I used to write it on my mirror, have little post its, yadda yadda. Many times I go to campus with a water bottle and I come back to my apt empty handed, and i'm like, what the heck? Wasn't I holding something earlier? Poor abandoned water bottles, i have no idea where you are. But as result of my goal, I have multiple unfinished water bottles next to my bed. See:

That is a total number of 5, and I have another 3 in my car. Sigh. But i've been doing better lately and have been consistently drinking a bottle a day! This is going good guys, I am hydrating myself!

2. I'm going to buy a jump rope and jump rope every day for 5 mins and maybe 10 if i'm ambitious. Don't worry guys, I live on the first floor so I won't be bugging anyone.

So yay to good health! And i'm not longer eating microwaveables. :) This probably is highly related to the fact that i'm out of my Costco supply of microwaveable teriyaki bowls and pizza.

wish me luck!

You Got This

This is my prayer in the desert

And all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in the hunger in me

My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the battle

And triumph is still on it's way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So firm on His promise I'll stand

The Desert Song//Hillsong

I'm Full Of Good Ideas

Good Ideas List

1. They should make a television series about DMV people in The Office style. Definite potential there.

2. Offer a slide right next to the stairs, so you have two options. Option 1: Stairs Option 2: Slide

3. Have little tasers that shock you when you start tangent-ing from your studies.

4. Create an iphone/blackberry/everyphone app that lets your phone be a taser too so you can tase (is that even the right verb?) the creepies. Forget pepper spray! Attacked by a rapist? Bust out your cellphone! Free taser-ing after 7pm on weekdays and all day and night on weekends.

5. Let every noun feel like it's a verb by adding -ing to the end of it. I am water bottle-ing (drinking water from a water bottle) or beach-ing or chair-ing or hot dog-ing, see how easy it is?! And fun?!?! Nouns ought to get in on the fun the verbs are having too.

6. There should be a day where everyone has their earphones in, listening to music on their ipods or whatever choice of mp3 player they have, okay who am I kidding? Everyone and their moms have a fcking ipod, just like facebook. Anyways, tangent but everyone listens their to their own music and dances to it at the same time. So we're all dancing to our own music while living out our normal lives doing normal things. Can you imagine? Walking to class and every student is dancing to their own ipod music. That would be legendary. There's a term for that though, it's a dance when everyone's in a room listening to their own ipod and dancing, i forget what it's called though but yeah, let's bring it into the outside world!

Side note, found out someone I know now has a fiancée from an arranged marriage. That is crazy. Arranged marriages I would put on the Bad Idea List. haha But i'm glad it's working out for him because apparently at first when he met her, he didn't like her but now is in love with her. Crazy how love works sometimes. Actually I take that back, crazy how love works all the time.

Daily Life

it's late night/early morning at Gateway and i have a midterm i'm supposed to be studying for since the midterm is tomorrow but alas, i am blogging. go figure.

The Daily Events in My Life Today

Moment 1

I live nearby campus so i just walk to school and i walk through UTC. Today as I was walking to campus, this old man probably in his 50's who was dressed fairly nice in a casual suit or whatever and he has red hair. As I noticed him and wondered why his hair was so much redder than his eyebrows, and if he was wearing a wig, he comes up to me and asks me "Excuse me, do you know where I parked?" Ummmm.......haha I think I stood there for a good 3 seconds wide eyed and confused. I eventually got to my senses and just answered "Sorry, I don't know..." Then he forgave me with an "It's okay" and left. haha but what in the world??? why would I know where he parked? Poor guy.

Moment 2

Books are way too expensive and the library one's on reserve were all checked out so...I ended up going to the UCI bookstore at the basement where all the textbooks are at and I sat on the floor with my laptop on to type up notes, my papers spread out next to me and i'm reading the textbooks. So ghetto. Students would pass by me to buy the books as I was sitting there like a bum. haha Although a couple of students also ended up talking to me and one even ended up joining me and doing the same thing. haha Yay for saving $$$.

Moment 3

J.chiang and K.ko went to Gateway after small groups to do some studying and long story short we share this table with these lesbian fobs. I have no idea what they were doing, but there was a major flirt sesssion/fighting? I don't know but damn, stop flirting over a pencil and just both get your own! yeesh. And then there were a couple of gentle-ISH slaps to the face that we all had to pretend to ignore. Eventually, it just ended up being me and the said lesbian couple for awhile. Awkwardness when you're trying to study and they're like petting each other's hair.

Moment 4

So now i'm by myself at the table (Thank God) and these 2 guys from the table next to me came up to me cause I guess my papers were out for the class, since we have the midterm tomorrow and then they asked if I was taking Econ 149. I said "yes" .......and that essentially was the conversation as they stood there for a bit. Awesome moments. Five minutes later, one of the guys comes over with his bottle of Xytenil or wtv gum (you know that Korean brand gum) and offers it to me. I kindly declined but that was nice of him I suppose.

Now that I have sufficiently wasted my studying time, I shall study for 15 minutes then go back home for some Z's. Nice.

The Best Kind Of Ships

Red ships. Blue ships.

but the best kind of ships

are Friendships.

Every kind of relationship takes works. There's understanding each other, hashing things out, giving in when need be, caring for each other and last but definitely not least, loving each other. My friendship will always be up for grabs for anyone because I love people. But the certain ones that we've invested time and care and have gotten close, I really value those friendships. Those small handful of people I call my good friends, I view their friendships just the same way I view marriage. It's a commitment. & at the end of the day, I just want to grow old with you. As time goes on, people change and naturally our feelings will change too. Yeah there will be days of frustration and annoyances but those days will follow up with forgiveness and smiles. And as sad as it is, there might be a day where you feel like your love for the person diminishes. But a commitment is a commitment & I want you to know that i'll always be there for the long haul and I got your back. We go through life experiencing different things and those experiences will continually shape who we are. Whoever you turn to out to be, I will always love you for you, though at times it may be hard. I'm thankful for all the gems that God has placed in my life. But we all know that relationships are a two way street so let's never give up on each other yeah? :]

There's Always Two Sides To Every Story...

Came across this & thought i'd share...

Her Side of the Story

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it.

I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but I could tell there was something wrong. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately.

We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried, what did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me?

I tried to cheer him up, but started to wonder what was bothering him. Was it me or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, and he said “No”.

But I wasn’t really sure.

So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him, and he just put his arm around me! I didn’t know what the hell that meant because, you know, he doesn’t say it back or anything.

We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to break up with me! Why didn’t he want to talk about this? So I tried to ask him about it, but he just switched on the TV. Why would he rather watch TV than talk to me?

Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep, hoping he would get the hint that I was upset and wanted to talk. I was so hurt that he was out there watching TV while I was in here going through emotional turmoil.

Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex.

I thought that maybe he would open up after we shared an intimate experience like that, but he still seemed really distracted. So afterward, I just wanted to leave because I was so upset, but I just cried myself to sleep.

He didn’t even notice how upset I was! I don’t know, I just don’t know what he thinks anymore. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I’m on emotional overload. I’m so confused. I don’t think he loves me anymore.

Why does he have to play mind games with me? I mean, do you! think he’s met someone else???

His Side of the Story

Lakers lost. Felt kinda tired. Got laid though.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HAHAHA

Actually it's not really funny because the sad thing is that it's so true.
I shared this with my roomie and we both agreed on how stupid but how accurate it's representation was.

Guys are simple & dipshits and girls think too much.
That's just kind of how it is.

All Over The Place

Wow.

I am so incredibily drained,

physically.emotionally.spiritually.

Time to turn this life back on track

not really sure where to start.

I'm working on self control

and denying myself.

I'm continually tested with decisions

and today I made a good one.

It's not much but...

i'm taking baby steps.

we all got our vulnerable times.

& i'm just not used to it.

i haven't felt like this for awhile.

Oh Daily Life...

It's week two.

I'm a 4th year and yesterday I got lost and couldn't find my disc class for the longest time. -______- I had to call my friends and one of them looked it up online where my class was. Turns out I went to the wrong building and went to HH instead of HIB. Fail. And then walking back home, this little white blonde girl tried to holler at me from her car when her mom picked her up from dance class. She literally leaned out her car window and said "wassup" with the head nod and half eyes opened thing. Wow...

But anyways, I can't believe it's only the start of week two because I feel like i've been here for a month already. Crazy! But Irvine life is good. It's a different feel being a senior. Everyone looked so young when I first went to campus. I feel like a BOSS as I strut on campus to my classes. hahaha jk Anyways, I just need to find a job now and my life will be temporarily complete. :)

Perhaps a more insightful entry later.

Don't Ever Settle

Settling often also leads to wonders of "what could have's." Settling solves things temporary but in the long run it leads to dissatisfaction. By not settling, you persevere despite temptations or because you're tired and want the easy way out or you've grown impatient. Instead you hold out for what you want and that's where true happiness lies.

"Don't ever settle"

Sophomore year in college, that was written all up on my mirrors and post it's. There are times to settle, like when you're in a ridiculous argument with a good friend and you just gotta take it and leave it there, but we're not talking about those moments. I didn't realize till a couple weeks ago that I was settling the past year or two and up till really recently I was in denial with myself about it. The great thing is that once you identify the problem, you can solve it. So i'm going back to the start & I'm not going to settle anymore. Things will be done pure of heart with good intentions. But I gotta constantly remind myself. And I pray for God to help me keep myself accountable.

& He said to me...

why are you in a hurry

there are greater things out there

Finally...time for me to sit and blog and veg out.

After having a conversation with a friend of mine a couple days ago, I realized that i'm not where I want to be. It was definitely an unwanted feeling as I realized where I was. So I decided to take more evasive action in the purging of my life. This requires letting go. People often let go because they've been hurt and it's part of the healing process. But in my situation, i'm letting go before that even happens, so i'm letting go of possibilities. That's a tough one because you're letting go and leaving behind the wonder of what could of. What could have happened if I made that choice? But I don't need "what could have's?" Those kind of fck up with your mind. It's hard to let go but I need belief that God's got this one. People think i'm strong and I am but I believe I lead people on to think i'm stronger than I actually am because I want them to be strong women too. But as I come to terms with the fact that i'm not as strong as i'd like to be, I need to make smart decisions. And smart decisions include knowing where I stand and leaving things behind.

& I feel good about this. My heart is finally at ease.

Spiraling Down

Damn, I think it happened again without me knowing.

& I don't like it one bit.

Habits are dangerous things.

I need something stronger than me to pull me out of this quicksand.

ASAP.

Change In Scenery

All of a sudden, I just got really excited about coming back to Irvine.

Goal: I'm supposed to be back today.

Fact: I just woke up and showered and have not started to pack at all.

FAIL. I'll most likely be coming in tuesday instead.

WHICH MEANS I WANT TO HIT UP VERDE AGAIN AT ITS NEW LOCATION!!! It just opened yesterday! All you norcal/cupertino/san jose/saratoga kids know what i'm talking about.

This summer was an eventful one. Half of it in Cambridge, England and the other half in home sweet home. Kicking it with many old friends, kicking it with new friends and sometimes kicking it with these new people and automatically wanting to just kick them in the faces, but it's all good.

I've learned I adapt well to any location whether it's going abroad or coming back home or whatever, but i'm ready for this change back to irvine. I was kinda really not looking forward going back to irvine for awhile but then I started to get bored with life...haha Plus, I need a new surrounding for me to figure things out. Spice it up a bit nawsimsayin? Senior year is finally here and it's gonna go fast. I don't want to be pressured into making the most out of everything. So we will not have none of this "last welcome week"/"last fall quarter"/"last winter quarter"/"last blahblahblah" crap. Instead this year is going to be plain awesome and legendary.

I'm excited why? Because i'm ready.

I'm ready to invest in people.

I'm ready to filter out my life.

I'm ready to work hard.

I'm ready to have muscle memory to the library.

I'm ready to play.

I'm ready to spend late nights/early mornings with the people I love.

I'm ready to drive an hour away for some good food.

I'm ready to start this year.

I'm ready to get on with my life.

Instigator

Some people bring out the best in you and some people bring out the worst.

Which makes you wonder...do you bring out the best or worst in others?

I'd like to believe I bring out the best, but........who am I kidding? I have too much attitude. hahaha

Honestly, i'm an honest person who likes to keep it real. But many times I find myself of crossing the line of being honest to being blunt, which is no good. Because I believe that people should just be real and not fake, I find myself not even trying to censor my thoughts. Just like how lighting is seen before thunder is heard, my mouth is heard before my mind comprehends. Cause I am who am, and you can just take it or leave it. But I really think that I need to tweak my habits a bit. No one's ever come up to me and say "hey, you hurt my feelings" or whatever shizz like that and actually people have told me they like how i'm so real and honest BUTTTTTTTT i'm sure that i've might have accidently stepped on some toes here and there so I gotta keep myself in line. I care for others and I gotta watch in the way I act out that care.

I want to bring out the best in people.

We're In This Together

I love reading my friends' blog, especially when it's something about what's going on in their lives. In a very post-secret-feel, I feel so connected to them without even having to directly talk to them. We're all people who have issues and that's fact. And I love that.

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

I've been evalutaing my life for a long while now and i've ignored things in my life. But I need to stop ignoring them and take care of them before I wreck myself without even knowing it. I've made wrong choices. Sometimes I make wrong choices knowingly because i'm tired of caring and doing the right thing. And I want to make the wrong choice. I just wanna have fun while being safe at the same time even though I know I shouldn't be doing what it is i'm doing. First off, just to avoid worry, i'm not talking about drugs or anything real crazy.

I really need to purge a lot of things in my life. I've written that line in my journal countless times and have had countless entries where I started to write that but then only to delete it because I didn't know how nor did I want to explain it. And I still don't really know how to explain. More like I don't know how much I really want to share over the internet. That's the problem, often we write posts or something on facebook or AIM profiles that we share only a little, and its cryptic because we want people to know, but at the same time we don't. As result, we leave mystery hoping for that one person or people to know what you're trying to say without you having to say it.

I keep on saying that I need to purge my life, but I need to actually start doing it.

Maybe next entry, i'll share the things I need to purge.

Inspiration

Mmm...it's been coming in and out but I think that I am bored with life. I need some inspiration, some motivation and just plain awesomeness. If those were frozen yogurt flavors, i'd mix them all up together, put some mochi on top and enjoy life.

People are huge inspirations for me. Just talking to them, no matter how smart, dumb, cool, retarded or whatever they are, they always offer certain insights and perspectives on things that sometimes rock your world. Mind stimulation is the best. If you can stimulate my mind, I want you as a friend. If I could be friends with anyyyyyyyyyyyyyybody, like anybody in the world, there's two people I really want to have as friends. like really, really badly. like i'd give up candy for the rest of my life kind-of-badly, and damn......that's pretty bad.

1. Mother Teresa

Okay, I know she's not alive but if she were, I would want her to be my friend, mentor would be even better but hey, whatever. Just how awesome would that be?! She has sooooooooooooooo much wisdom, love and care that it amazes you. A woman of such small stature has gained so much respect from everyone and you just can't hate Mother Teresa, it'd be like a sin if you hated her. If you were to ever yell out "I hate Mother Teresa!" I think I would pray for your soul because i'm pretty sure you'd be beat to death within 5 seconds. What I don't understand is how she continually gave out her heart and soul to people with such humbleness. How does she do it? And how can I be just like her? I would love to go to her for advice and see her view on the world today, the wars, the economy, people's interation, the church and just everything. Anyways, I'd definitely want to have matching necklace halves that said BFF or some shizz like that.

2. Ellen Degeneres

She is fucking amazing. In a TOTALLY different sense from Mother Teresea. But anyways, she has such wit and charisma that I think she could make anything fun. Like if Ellen were to call me up and say "Hey, want to go to the denist and get root canals?" I would probably say, "um, HELL YEA ELLEN!" She's got such a laid back easy feel to her. I would love to go grab drinks with her and hit on women or be hit on and then just laugh late into the night with some cocktails. But of course, eventually i'd tell her i'm straight and then we'd just drink some more and laugh it off. Maybe then she'd say to me "just drink some more and then tell me how that brunette over there looks." And then i'd drink some more, go kiss the brunette and tell Ellen it wasn't that great. Umm...allright this is getting really weird.......but point is, i'm straight. Straight with an over imaginative mind. hahaha Anyways, Ellen has a lot of charm and it would be amazing to talk to her and just see her point on things. I feel that since she's soooooo out that she really widen my perspective on things and shake up my sometimes, really stubborn view. CAN SHE BE MY FRIEND PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

Mother Teresa, Ellen Degenes and Tiffany Wong. That'd be the greatest friendship trio right there.

I Love Lists.

10 Things I Should Probably Not Do, But Will Do Because I Am Me

1. Sometimes when I drive, I use only one finger. It's usually my right index one.
2. When I shower, I blast the music as I shower and...dance. It really wakes you up.
3. Give my number out to girls at bars, well i've only done it twice. Actually I think i'm going to stop this one because once it was a 28 yr old mom, who could be considered a milf and was funny but now she is texting me and it's a little weird.
4. Point out funny looking people to my friends who then all proceed to look over in such an obvious way that I am ashamed.
5. Wear jeans and flats, and then get the nastiest looking tan on my feet. It looks like a fat strip of dirt.
6. Buy guys clothes/steal guy friend's clothes and wear them. Large shirt? Hello belted dress!
7. Rather than "waste time" and check online what time the place closes, my friends and I will drive all the way there to find out that it closed half an hour ago.
8. Feel obligated to stay up in the wee hours in the morning just because it's summer, but really I want to sleep earlier.
9. Use words like sausage fest and cock blocker in loose terms because some take it the wrong way.
10. The sad thing with laptops is that now I can literally stay in bed all day. This does not go well with the combination of summer.


With that being said, i'm going to get out of bed now and go to the coffee shop and read.

Just Ask

Sometimes when I drive I like to look at the people's faces as they drive in the opposite lane. Why?

1. Cause it's interesting
2. I got nothing better to do
3. I'm just weird.

And it's funny cause some people's faces look like they're mad at the world. Some act hard and think they're too cool for the world. And some...just straight up look like they don't belong in this world.

But point is, I love people watching. I love people. Well certain types of people I could really do without but people fascinate me. How we interact with each other, how we get to be who we are, and what we do when we think no one's watching. Hm...okay last part sounded hella creepy but...i'm not! I promise. haha When people see babies or little kids, they usually think of all the potential they have in them. I think in reverse. When I see the homeless or really shady people (not putting the two together, because they are completely separate), it amazes me that they all were babies at one point, and some were probably hella cute babies too. But what happened in their lives that they got to that point? What life events happened that led a really cute, happy baby into a man who spends his nights in a sleeping bag on the hard, cold sidewalk? Or into someone who doesn't mind tricking someone, even a friend out of all their life savings?

I remember when I used to go out to Skid Row in LA on some friday nights. It's a church that meets literally on the corner of the street in the area where most of the homeless are and is open to everyone. It's focus is to help out those in the streets to hear the good word and also to help them out. What I love is that it's so real. We just stand and listen to the sermon and afterward pass out food and clothes and whatevers donated directly to them. I usually would help pass out clothes to the women and I was always focused on getting them what they needed, or look for what would fit them and in the end, I never really asked about their story but just made small talk. I figured, why ask them the stories in their lives that they probably don't want to talk about. Once a woman came wearing a shirt and a large jacket but no pants and asked if their were any pants for her. What happened? I didn't ask, I was focused on finding something to help cover her up and once I did, I let her walk away. Once I did talk to a woman for awhile and she told me how she had to find cans in the morning to recycle earn money and other things of her life. I listened as she told me things and at the end, she thanked me for listening because it was hard for her to find people to talk to. I wish I took more initiative in finding out about every single one of their lives because that's a sign of care. And if we all just cared to ask about each other, I think we'd find a lot more love in the world.

Just Dance

I know i've said it before, but i'll say it again.

Do you know what I consider to be the worst job?

A DJ for a middle school dance. Damn. How do they do it?!?!? Playing songs with lyrics that insinuate many sexual things and then watching tweens dance in circles, or with other or even worse, up on each other. oh.my.lordy. I don't want to even imagine it. You know how there are some things you just don't want to watch the process of because it'll ruin your image of it? For example, KFC, MickyD's, Taco Bell and basically any hole in the wall establishment. I don't want to see how my food is made or whether or not the workers are wearing gloves or the cleanliness rating of the restaurant, I just wanna enjoy my food. Other things I don't want to see include the process of how a hot dog weiner is made or my future husband's bachelor party. Some things are better left unknown. And that is why as a parent I wish to never witness my children at a dance. I'll just tell them to dance with Bible distance between each other and hope for the best.

I used to hate slow songs. They annoyed me so much because they were simply soooooooooo slow. And I was a person that liked things fast. I didn't do long distance but sprints in track, I talked at an abnormal speed most of the time that you had to get used to it to understand me, I liked upbeat things. I remember always reasoning my dislike of slow songs to people with the question of what was the point of dragging out the word "you" to "youuuuuuuuuuuu"? Waste of life. I have a life to live, an 8th grade life to live so you know just how crazy, face paced that is. harhar

Now I enjoy them. I've grown to slow down and just enjoy it. I no longer sprint although that might be because i'm super out of shape and I only talk at abnormal speed if i'm very excited. What I do miss though are slow dances. The clubs now are just fastfastfastgrinddancedancedance. Sometimes I wish we could throw in some slow dances in there bet I guess that'd be awkward...really awkward. haha Damn. I guess i'll have to wait till the next wedding for slow dancing.

Time to make friends with older people now!

Just One More...

Yet another mommy moment. Even though i've only been home for about a week, it definitely feels longer. But don't get me wrong, I do love home for various reasons. One being that home allows me so many "wondeful" mommy moments. I couldn't help but want to share this one.

So i'm driving with my mom somewhere and she tells me to get into the next lane so I can turn left and as I do so, the yellow light is about to turn red so of course I stop the car.

mommy dearest: Oh it's okay, as long as you try your best. You must always try your best because you never know what will happen if you don't. Shoot for the sky.

Dang, have you ever met such an encouraging mom?!?! LOL what in the world.......I was definitely snickering to my side throughout this but I don't think she noticed. haha Oh asian mothers...


Can we please swap asian mother stories? Which reminds me...I think i'm going to visit the website www.mymomisafob.com now.


Okay no more mommy posts anymore, I promise.

Mommy Dearest

In the year of 2008, I was home for about a month and a half or so total. About 3 weeks of summer and 2 weeks winter break and a week of spring break. Otherwise I was in Irvine or HK.

And this year of 2009, i've only been home for a week and half total. About 3 days at the beginning of summer and then almost a week now.

So all in all, I can finally say Home Sweet Home, well that is till mid Sept. It's nice how you can still call it home no matter how long you've been gone for or how far away you were. And it's also semi nice to know things don't change that much at home, i.e. mommy dearest.

For the record, I do not call my mom, mommy dearest. I am asian so that'd......be pretty weird. Anyways, coming back home I once again an pleasantly reminded of my mothers voice in the ways of warm welcomes and of course nagging and "advice-ing." I've grown up to my mom coming into my room with a newspaper in hand showing me of crimes and how I should avoid them. Well things have semi-evolved and she just show me a clipping of a man who was arrested for public intoxication and told me to remember if you drink to always drink inside and never outside. Thank you mommy dearest. But at least now, she's comfortable with knowing I am of age and do consume that thing we like to call alchy.

Now all girls with Asian parents i'm sure have gone through, starting to go through or will go through the process of the parentals encouraging words for you to find a life mate. At first it's like NO BOYFRIEND, STUDY HARD OR I WILL GET THE "TUNG TEW" I.E. DUSTER AND HIT YOU. And then all of a sudden it's, WHERE IS BOYFRIEND?!?! YOU ARE GETTING OLD. And you're like 22....

I got lucky & my parents weren't like that at all. And my parents know I despisetalking about such matters with them but anyways my mommy dearest went through stages

Stage 1: (in middle school) You should wait till high school to get boyfriend.
Stage 2: (in high school) You should wait till college to get a boyfriend.
Stage 3: (2nd/3rd year of college) I don't mind if you get a boyfriend...
Stage 4: (this summer going into 4th year) You know you should learn how to bake cookies. You know why? Hehe. Because then baking cookies will get a boyfriend. Hehehe. (Exact words and giggles except all done in Cantonese. -__________-)

Oy vey. There are a couple of personal reasons why i'm single, but either way, ultimately I want to truly fall in love with God before anyone else. I believe a good relationship happens at the right time with the right person. If you meet the wrong person at the right time, it won't work out because he's wrong for you. If you meet the right person at the wrong time, it won't work out because you're not ready or other personal issues. So either way you need both things to click and I have no problem with waiting until I do meet that right guy at the right time. And dang, I'm only 21. Sometimes I feel like thats hella young and then sometimes I feel like its hella old but I mean it's just.....normal. 21's kind of a weird age...eh. That's a different topic though so here concludes my post.

So here's to being young, not limiting yourself and living it up cause you can, cheers!

The Thin Line Between an Opinion and Judgement

I think i've developed a bad habit.

Habits take forever to make and even longer to change. I think over the last 2-3 years, there's been an undercurrent and my belief of seeing the best in people and being open to who ever got caught in the current. I'm an avid people watcher and observer and I think that i've seen and noticed people who's actions really turn me off. Are we a community or just a selective community? Why are we such hypocritical people? Why is it so hard to love some people?

It first started to where I was really annoyed by people who you could tell thought they were better than others and didn't try to get to know others but already labeled them as something. But thinking about it...isn't that how it is with me? Forming an opinion about these people and already writing them off? I used to be so much more open to people and seeing it worth a try to get to know anyone but i've grown tired. I dislike what I see and at this stage in my college life, I don't see a point in making an effort. Why get to know these sorts of people when there's so many others out there I feel worth my time and getting to know? It's easy to say that it's just my opinion but in the end, i'm making judgements that i'm not proud to claim ownership too.

disconnected from the world wide web

I'm absolutely horrible at keeping in touch via the internet when abroad. If it weren't for facebook, i'd have lost all connection to all things home. I don't know why that is. E-mail, skype, and even AIM aren't even the hardest things to do but it is at the same time. At the same time I really do wish I was great at keeping in touch, but i'm just really not a natural at it at all. Things will always be the same when i'm back but I really need to break the barrier that always comes up when i'm distantly challenged. I have no idea how people do it.

Maybe cause i'm surrounded by people so much that when i'm in my room with my computer, I just want to be alone. The introvert side of me kicks in. And my room does not get any light! Nor do i turn on the light so that it's basically where dreams go to die. hahaha depressing, I know? I think i'll turn on the light right now.

Theres less than 2 weeks left in the UK, and I really want to make the most out of everything except i'm sick so all I want to do is nap. Unfortunately I have a group presentation and essay due tomorrow that I just need to suck it up and do it.

I WANT TO AND MUST BLOG MORE.

I need to record my thoughts more.

Boring post, but i'm improving a little I suppose.

It's final.

It's been done.

I am now an e blogger.

Here's to late night blogging, procrastinating study posts, and inspiring or wtf thoughts.


Miss Whats Wong