Got Any Extra Change, I Mean Love?

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."
— Mother Teresa


Mother Tersea's got it to a T. To be emotionally hungry is much worse than being physically hungry. Someone's care sustains a person much longer than a loaf of bread. Humans are emotional beings. Imagine being unwanted, unloved, uncared for and forgotten by everybody. How horrible would that be? Could you imagine that? But there are people and animals out there who fit exactly in those categories. No one should be deprived of care and love. If we can't even give this to others, what kind of an unfortunate human race are we?


Love isn't always those pretty little hearts we draw. Love is realistically much more than that. Love isn't always easy. 

Over Consumption

Whenever I go out to eat and I can't seem to finish my meal, I never force myself to finish it all. Yes yes, we all hear the argument of "there are starving kids in Africa", but despite the starving kids in Africa...the fact is i'm full. Why force myself to finish off the plate? My belief is that when I go to a restaurant, i'm ultimately paying to be full and satisfied. So if I were to force the rest of the food down, i'd end up feeling too full and uncomfortable...which simply conflicts with my goals. I'm also an Asian female who weighs less than 200 pounds (I weigh exactly 199 pounds, sup big girl). So does it make sense that the same portion of an pasta entree at the Cheesecake Factory is going to fill both me or a 175 pound male or a midget exactly the same way? Probably not. Just sayin'. I think that when you have just enough, then you should be content. Why force yourself to eat everything thats out in front of you? If there is an ample amount left over, then just take it home. This is why I don't like going to buffets cause it makes me feel like I fail at getting my money's worth and you don't get to bring anything back. The only exceptions I make for buffets are all you can eat Korean BBQ and sushi cause I am a huge meat person and I love sushi so I definitely can pull my weight there. I believe in eating to your heart's content and your stomach's worth. I also believe there is always a separate stomach for dessert. My main point is that we shouldn't feel forced to finish everything that is given to us. For example, you go to KFC and order the 12 wings deal but you find yourself full after 10 wings, but there's only 2 wings left so you might as well finish it off right? But if you're already full, then why? Often times we will over consume because we feel it is our right or duty to or just because we can. That's why Americans are kinda chubbs.

The American society is built on over consumption, not just in our eating habits but in so many other ways. The amount of clothes in our closet, the amount of junk in our garage, the amount of paper we don't recycle, the 30 pack of water bottles we buy instead of a filter, etc. Although consuming is what helps stimulate our economy, I find it a problem in our value system. It's all about consuming the best, new thing (i.e. all iProducts). And it's the same small percentage of the population that keeps consuming while others find themselves barely consuming. We just all need to find a balance. If we could all just be content with having enough, we'd have a lot more fulfillment. It's like when you're super hungry and you keep eating and eating cause you think you're still hungry, but if you were to stop and just wait for 10 minutes your brain is able to process that you're actually full. We constantly are consuming to satisfy every one of our human needs, but the thing is God always provides us with all we need, it's just hard to recognize it.

The Roads A Little Uneven

Today I woke up with a nice little surprise. My left eyeball was red. My face went into WTF mode when I saw that in the mirror. My poor eye. & no, it is not pink eye, I don't fart on my pillows and sleep on them. I got just a little bit more class than that, only a little though. haha So I set an apt for a walk in at the optometrist today.

Long story short, my eyes aren't infected but they're dry and were being restricted by my contacts and lack of oxygen yadda yadda. So I need to wear glasses for a week or so. And my left eye is in worse condition since it's red. However, I left my glasses in Norcal during spring break so I have to wait for my parents to Fed Ex/UPS them to me. So i'm not supposed to wear contacts in the meantime but I gotta be able to see so the optometrist told me to just wear one contact till I get my glasses since my right eye isn't as bad condition in my left. Dude, let me tell you, it feels weird.

My left eye is naturally worse than my right eye normally, so only having good eyesight in one eye gives me an unbalanced feeling. There's a certain distorted perception. But I find this so relevant to my life. I have one eye that can't see that well and is infected and can't make things out to what they are. But I also have one good eye that picks up the slack and has good sight. Together I can get by but it's not to my full potential and I feel unbalanced, uneven and uncomfortable. How can one eye see so perfectly but one eye be so inept. It's dragging the team down. How can you see such opposite sides of the spectrum and still be the same. Anyways, I gotta get more than my eyesight in check. Well I just gotta wait for my glasses and time for it to heal. Then i'll be back on top of my game. And those who like seeing me in my glasses, they're in luck because i'll be wearing them for a little while. It's nice because people automatically think i'm more mature and smarter. Which I am, btw. haaaaaaaaaha no really, I am!

Side note, we've been trying to have a weekly tradition of roomie dinners where one of us cook a meal for the apt. Jessica the Cambodian (on the way right) cooked us salad, bruschetta, pasta with clams and some wine on the side. It was really yummy. Next week, Vicki (the middle one) is supposed to cook and then me. Last week Lily (on the way left) brought home food from home and cooked us Vietnamese food. It was really good too! but a lot of fish sauce was involved. I hung out with some friends afterwards and they all made comments throughout the night that I smelled. Damn the Vietnamese. hahaha jk.

sorta. :P

Pick Me Up & Let's Go Somewhere

Photo taken by the beautiful & talented Felicia

Waiting.

Sometimes when you're not sure about something, all you can do is wait. I'm waiting for something and I don't know what. Perhaps an opportunity to come and whisk me away. To sweep me away under the current, where I don't have any control. Sometimes control is unnecessary when you want to truly embrace an experience. Life at times can seem to be just routine and mundane, nothing is really a surprise. The same things happen in just different contexts. The same situation, with different people. Same same but different different. Not to say my friends bore me or anything because my friends are amazing. But we can't get too comfortable with life. Life and God has so much to offer and I want to take all that it has to offer. There is so much out there I don't know about. The raw humanness of the homeless. The sunrise on top of a mountain. How a computer is made from scratch. The sorrows of a single mother. The innocence in child's smile. The regrets of an unsuccessful gambler. Beautiful scenery. God's love and grace.

Breathless moments. Excitement. Adventure. Passion. Sadness. Beauty. Love.

There's a lot of experiences that I have yet to experience. Emotions for me to feel. Stories I have yet to hear. Stories I have yet to tell. People I have yet to meet. Ships of the friend I have yet to develop. Risks I have yet to take. And finding my personal legend.

I want it all. I don't want to miss out on anything or anyone.