How To Build A Ship

There are red ships and blue ships.
But the best kind of ships are friendships.

When you were growing up, it seemed so easy to make friends. You both used to played Neopets and Poke mon and laughed about farts, and that was the foundation of your friendship. But when you grow up, it just doesn't work the same in how you make friends. And when you really sum it up, there are only a few ways in making friendships.


Way 1:  History/Circumstances

You grew up together from childhood, or awkward pre-teen years, high school, etc. My best friend is a prime example of this. We both agree that if we met each other in this present day we could be friends but we most likely wouldn't be best friends. It's our history that really brought us together, and we're lucky that it just kept working out. 12 years on going and still no real fight yet. haha

Way 2: Experience

You went through something together and it brought you closer, like a missions trip or you get stuck in the middle of no where. Either way, you have an experience together.

Way 3: X Factor

There's chemistry between you two, like peas in a pod you just click, you hit it off. This one doesn't happen, but when it does it's pretty frickin' awesome to have that connection.


Way 4: Attractiveness (My friend actually brought this one up)

You're attracted to each other and want to get to know each other. I think this pertains more to the opposite gender. But maybe you start off attracted to each other, hang out and realize that you just work as friends. Or you actually date. haha In my case I don't know how often this one has worked, because i've never really been attracted to my close guy friends.

But there you go, these are the ways to build a ship.

A Weekend Well Spent

Last Thursday Feesh and Jtang visited for the weekend and it was sososo good! It was so nice to be hanging out with them in our hood. :) haha This picture is my favorite. HAHA Thanks to Jtang, we were able to get good parking where ever we went. Handicap friends are very useful.

Jess: Well you told me to look scared like I was on a ride! So I was holding on to the sides for my life!
Me: Yeah, holding on to the sides.....of a wheelchair! 

Hehehe Good times. Sorry i've been so MIA. I'll try hard to start posting (and drinking water) more regularly! haha

Rogue

"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with."

- Carrie [Sex And The City]

Ghost Of An Existence

When you start moving out, you start to pack. A vital component of packing is determining what's to be kept and thrown away. Things such as old midterms and notes are tossed right away, especially those midterms that share the same number as an anorexic girl's weight. But then you get to the sentimental stuff and it's a different story. Small things like old notes, old pictures, small gifts, letters, birthday cards, movie and concert stubs, even business cards of people you know or restaurants you go to and random crap are put into in a box to be kept aside. No matter what, they have a place in your heart and you can't bear to throw them away. After living in this apartment for the last couple of years, things have accumulated. And coincidently things have changed.

It's crazy coming across an old birthday card from a person you barely talk to anymore. Or encouragement notes from people who you had barely knew at the time but now you've gotten to know them better. A silly gift from the guy you dated before. A picture of a group hangout from freshman year that you look back and it just looks so foreign now. A ticket stub of a bad movie you saw with friends. Memories flood in and it's as if you're dealing with the ghost of an existence. A slight taste of bittersweetness kicks in. Sometimes people come in your life and stay. But sometimes people come in and out of your life for only brief moments of time and at some points, you may have even been attached at the hip. And reading through these old notes or going through these old pictures reminds you of times you've spent with the person. These last 4 years at UCI have gone by so quickly, it's crazy.

I think the craziest thing is that on the other side of the spectrum, i've written plenty of cards, encouragement notes, graduation cards to the years above me, picture and given random things to other people. But at this very exact moment in time, what place do I hold in that person's life? A good friend? An acquaintance? Someone foreign now? Or am I just a ghost of a past existence?

What ever it is, I hope the memories we have are ones you can look back on and smile. And if we're lucky, we'll create even better memories in the days ahead.

It seems as through the whole process of moving out leaves a taste that's a little more bitter than bittersweet.

Ridin' Solo

This has been the new morning jam these days. Actually it is the theme song for 3/4 of 904 Junction. haha Perfect song to set into the summer. It's going to be a good one, I feel it. :)

We had a 904 Junction reunion last Saturday for Vicki's 22nd birthday. Even though it's only been 2 weeks, it feels like we've been apart much longer all doing our own thing. It felt good to all be back at the apartment together. A group of us celebrated Vicki's birthday on a boat which was really chill. We drove the boat around for a couple of hours while enjoying the scenery, music, food, strawberries and mimosas. Checked out the beach a little afterwards and then later at night went to the comedy improv. Twas a good day. :)

Lovely 904 Junction ladies, how i've missed you so.

Care

Care (verb)

1. to be trouble or concerned; be affected emotionally

2. to have regard, affection, or consideration (for)

It's an interesting concept because it has to do with emotions and anything that has to do with emotions becomes a hell lot more complex. There are things in this world we care about that we d0n't want to care about, and things in this world that we simply do not care enough about; if only care were a tangible, rational matter...

We had our last fellowship on Friday and we held our Senior Well. Some Seniors shared their stories and at the end of the night I realized something. Sometimes people do things that make you look at them differently with annoyance, disappointment or even disgust, etc. or there are people who totally cut themselves from the world and seem to disappear from your life. It's easy to look at the superficial level and cast them away as people who just want to do their own thing, douchebags, disappointments or whatever but there's a deeper root. There are reasons. Although the easiest way to respond is with rebuke and judgement but that's the last thing needed. Instead of telling a person to stop doing whatever they're doing and why it's wrong, it's more important to ask why they are doing whatever they're doing and if they're doing okay. These actions are a cry for care. And since care is rooted from love, they are ultimately a cry for love. How could I not realize it before?? Thinking back on my life, I can clearly recall a couple of instances in my life where I needed someone to just simply care more than the normal amount, but my pride or this emptiness, hurt or whatever mess it was manifested into actions that wouldn't be recognizable for that need.

To be honest, human beings are selfish. We recognize our own needs and care for ourselves above all but that's messed up. The care i'm talking about that we need is extraordinary care. The type of care that doesn't stop at the first time or first rejection. It's like that guy at the bar who doesn't take no and keeps trying (okay perhaps not the best metaphor in this case, haha). The type of care that you go out of your way to show that you are here for them. The type of care that shows you want to be apart of whatever it is they're going through. It is the type of care that comes from God's extraordinary love. People do not heal with rebuke and judgement but with love. I'll be the first to admit that i'm not the best at this because with care comes different types of frustrations, energy, heart, time, patience, and trust in God but having been on both sides i'm starting to understand and i'm trying.

Been listening to this song every morning when I wake up for awhile now

Everybody, everbody wants to love

Everbody, everbody wants to be loved

I want you to know that although I may suck at caring, I do and i'm here for you, just let me know what you need.