While listening to the radio, my friend Joe brought up a very good point. It seems as though all the songs are requiring us to do one thing. What is it? To put our hands up in the air. Why is it that suddenly just about every current song on the radio are asking up to put our hands in the air??? When did that become the "cool thing to do"? After awhile that's ish gets tiring. It's like my hands are constantly in the air in the car! Which means no hands on the wheel...therefore leading to unsafe driving. Or at the club. Which means while i'm holding a drink at the club, I have to lift that up too? It means i'm working out unevenly with about a 16oz weight. Or I have to be double fisting to get an even work out. Either way....no bueno. To prove my point, I have gathered some evidence of all the current songs with this "hands up" disease and have described my feelings towards each one.
California Gurls// Katy Perry
California gurls, we’re undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce, we got it on lock
West Coast represent, now put your hands up
(Now if you don't put your hands up, you're just not being patriotic to the West Coast and that would be kinda fcked up.)
Party In The USA//Miley Cyrus
Got my hands up, they’re playin’ my song
And now I’m gonna be okay
Yeah! It’s a party in the USA!
(It is true. When someone is playin' my song, I just GOTTA put my hands up!)
Dynamite//Taio Cruz
Hands in the air
Put your hands in the air
I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying a-yo
Gotta let go!
(This one is better because it requires me to throw my hands up in the air only SOMETIMES. Makes me feel like I still got free will. Nice.)
Like a G6// Far East Movement
Its that 808 bump, make you put yo hands up
Make you put yo hands up, put yo, put yo hands up
Hell yeaaaa, Make you put yo hands up, put yo hands up
(It is true. This song does make me put my hands up. I do it in hopes of owning a G6 someday.)
Club Can’t Handle Me//Flo.rida
Watching you watching me we go all out
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhh)
Put your hands up! Put your hands up! Put your hands up!
(Pretty sure if everyone in the club put their hands up, I wouldn't be able to handle the club and all the sweaty pits they got goin' on.)
Just A Dream//Nelly
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they’re gone and you wish you could give them everything
I said, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
And now they’re gone and you wish you could give them everything
(This is too depressing. I don't even have the energy left to put my hands up).
Put Your Hands Up//Fatman Scoop
You got a $100 dollar bill, put your hands up!
You got a $50 dollar bill, put your hands up!
You got a $20 dollar bill, put your hands up!
You got a $10 dollar bill, put your hands up!
(This actually comes in handy. I now know who to ask for money. This makes hustling easier. Nioce.)
All I Do Is Win//DJ Khaled
And every time I step up in the building
Everybody hands go up
And they stay there, and they say “yeah,” and they stay there
Up, down, up, down, up, down
‘Cause all I do is win, win, win A
nd if you goin’ in, put your hands in the air, make ‘em stay there
(Well this is just plain torture. Not only do I have to put my hands up but they have to go up, down, up, down, up, down like a freakin' workout. And THEN I gotta make 'em stay there?!?! Dude, what's wrong with you? And i'm doing this just cause you're stepping in the building? You're not even cute!)
With so many demands for us to "put our hands up," it can be really confusing about how to handle the situation. My best advice? Use deodorant. If you're gonna be following this trend, you might as well do it while smelling good. None of us want to smell yo' stank. My choice of preference is this deodorant. Invisible dry and I get to smell like Wild Freesia? Win.
