Comprende?

I've noticed something. When someone shares a problem with someone, the person automatically tries to do two things. First, they try to pinpoint the problem/issue and then second, they try to solve it by giving their advice on how to handle it. Although at times the person may share in hopes of seeking a solution, I believe at times that another reason a person shares is to just simply share.

A common thing we may overlook is a person's wanting to be understood. Sometimes what the person really wants and needs is understanding, to have someone relate and understand what it is they're going through. What i'm talking about is not having sympathy and feeling sorry, but empathy and compassion. I have more thoughts on this but I can't sort them out at the moment. The main point is that I think understanding is understated. Being able to truly understand is how the start of how you can actually help a person. Understanding lets a person know they are not alone. And actions of help with understanding why makes a huge difference.

Understanding is really difficult though. How can you understand and feel what another person is going through? How can you relate to poverty in Africa when you've rarely skipped a meal, and that was probably because you were busy studying and getting an education? How can you relate to the homeless when you've had a roof over your head since birth? How can you relate to abuse when the only bruises you've receive were from tripping over something? This is where God comes in. God's love is able to connect it all. Pray for compassion. Oh man, I could say more but if I keep writing this post will be way too long. I'll stop here and finish up with another post to expand, but ya feels me?

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me


Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I go from nothing to eternity

And You Are......?

Recently a guy came into my work and asked "Is your name by chance, Tiffany?" I met him like 3 weeks ago and was surprised he remembered my name. I recognized him but I definitely didn't remember his name, not even the first letter. Strategically avoiding addressing him by name, I continued on with some small talk then made an excuse to leave rather than ask him for his name again because I felt too guilty. I came back home and mentioned to Lillian that I found it amazing when people are able to recall names so well. I met him once like 3 weeks ago and he remembered; I would never be able to do that. Sadly she didn't share my amazement and replied "He's good at remembering names and you're horrible at it." The glass shatters.

Damn, she's got me to a T on that one. I used to call one of my roommates old boyfriends Barnyard instead of Brienyard. Another time I asked my other roommate why her mom named her brother Abraham only to be answered that his name was Lincoln. In general, I forget a lot of names the moment I meet them. Sometimes when they introduce them to me, their names don't even reach my ears. It's like i'm just waiting for them to finish their introductions so I can introduce myself rather than hearing them say their names. Aren't introductions just to be polite? Just like some economic courses i've taken, you learn it to just learn it but in real life it's rarely applicable. Most of the time I doubt i'll ever have to use their names again so why even bother remembering it? And it goes both ways cause I don't expect them to remember mine-except sometimes I do see them again and they do remember my name, then a little FML kicks in.

Honestly though? The truth is subconsciously I probably just don't care enough to remember their names. In a way, I'm a bitch about it. Like the guy who came into my work? Although I did feel too bad to ask for his name again, I probably didn't ask because I didn't find it worth the effort since I figured I wouldn't see him again (Epic fail because he came in again the next day). I didn't see the significance in even trying to memorize it. He is one among thousands of people that lives will cross mine for a brief moment. What's the point in remembering all their names? But you know what? It's a biznatch move to make. Just how cocky/stuck up is it of me to think that someone isn't important enough to remember their name?

As part of me growing up and improving myself, i'm going to make some changes starting with this one. I am going to remember everyone's name I meet. So far i've been trying to really listen when they introduce themselves and repeat their names in my head. When I leave, I try to say "It was nice meeting you ______." I remember when I was a freshman in college and feeling special when people remembered my name, especially people older than me. I was just some little insignificant freshman but they knew my name. Even to this day, when people I don't expect to remember my name do, it's huge surprise to me. Remembering someone's name is a great quality to have. It shows care, it's warm and humbling in a way. It's more personal than an "ay girl" or "sup boy." It shows you care and the person is special enough for you to remember who they are. And everyone is special enough for me to remember their name. It's always nice to be remembered. :)

Side note: I like the way people find different ways to call my name or just the way they say my name. It's kind of sweet.