Liminal

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."       

-E.B. White

Early Merry Christmas

In reality, I don't really need much for Christmas. Despite the flashiness of it all, I think most of us can agree that it just comes down to family. A time of unity so that we can be thankful for the birth of Christ. All I really enjoy is  the meal shared with family, my puppy pawing at my knees for scraps, followed by some sort of Chinese movie my parents like to watch. haha There's beauty in simplicity. Enjoy the holidays :)

My Actual Wish List

I've been eyeing this for awhile. I've been eyeing it for so long, the watch probably feels awkward and even a bit violated by now. It's a mens watch, but it's shexy and i'd wear it 24/7, literally because it's water resistant so I can tell time in the shower. Um....awesome much?!?! I think my swagger would double with this watch. If only I had a $100 dollar bill laying around......sighs.

I Think This Belongs To the Naughty (Wish) List

Guys, with Christmas just around the corner, i'm sure you're wondering what to get your significant other. Rather than choosing a lame sweater or Star Craft II which you will end up "borrowing," we all know you can never go wrong with jewelry. Right? Thanks to Vivienne Westwood, you can give the gift of penis with a diamond droplet at the end, just in case the penis alone wasn't classy enough. What girl wouldn't want a penis pendant? Wow, I think this is the most times i've ever typed penis in my life. Penispenispenis. Okay,

I think i'm good for the whole year.

I feel like there should be a "that's what she said" joke somewhere...........but I can't think of anything. Amazing.


*I hope none of you guys are actually confused into thing I want this. I find it extremely ridiculous to wear a penis on your neck. haha

A Weekend Well Spent

Last Thursday Feesh and Jtang visited for the weekend and it was sososo good! It was so nice to be hanging out with them in our hood. :) haha This picture is my favorite. HAHA Thanks to Jtang, we were able to get good parking where ever we went. Handicap friends are very useful.

Jess: Well you told me to look scared like I was on a ride! So I was holding on to the sides for my life!
Me: Yeah, holding on to the sides.....of a wheelchair! 

Hehehe Good times. Sorry i've been so MIA. I'll try hard to start posting (and drinking water) more regularly! haha

When It Comes Down To It

When it comes down to it.......all you want to do is grow old together.

Oh Silly Me...

I stumbled across this while going though my past entries on my Xanga days. It gave me a good laugh. As some of you know, I graduated with an Business Economics major. So I guess Junior year I decided to pursue my short lived dream of being a poet.

The Econ Poem

Point A Point B Point C
What is the point of all this eventually?

Can your supply meet my demand?
Cause they go hand in hand. 
Will you meet me at the intersection? 
Or do you need further direction?

Oh the many curves there are
How suggestive they look from afar 
But there doesn't seem to be enough labor 
As the output just isn't enough to savor

With my income
Is it possible to get some
That price is looking kind of high 
Maybe i'll settle for some substitutes and get by

But that wouldn't be satisfying though 
That's something you and I would know
So let's be efficient here I say
And reach a feasible point today

I'm trying to read the graph 
It's a bit hard as the lines seem to overlap 
What are you trying to tell me,
With all that productivity?

Are you satisified with your indifference curve there?
It isn't that far from the origin if you care
And I think we can push it out some more 
Because where we're at is a sight that's sore

So at half past noon
Meet me at the equilibrium and call
Not a moment too soon
Will you be my econonimist once and for all?

Wow I was such a dork. hahaha But actually if you've taken upper div Econ, some of the concepts actually make sense. Reading my old entries makes me realize that I was a lot more dorky and I miss it! :( Time to bring out my inner dork once again. 

Porcelain Dolls

When I was a child I was fearless on the playground as i'm sure many of you can relate. I'd ride the dangerous metal merry go round where other kids threw up from going too fast, jump down from high areas, slide down the tree trunks that were actually meant to hold up the structure so that I ended up ripping my spandex sliding down, and dare to skip not just 4 but 5(!!! I was pretty badass as a child no?) bars on the monkey bars which left me on the ground on my back in pain for a good 5 minutes. When I did get hurt I would whine a little, maybe even cry a few tears, but then i'd just get over it and keep playing. For some reason as a kid you feel invincible. Growing up you realize how fallible you actually are. I used to never be afraid of getting hurt. I was a naive young child with a no holds barred thing going on. Nowadays, we have second thoughts going into things, into love and relationships, into people, into career fields, into trying new things, into missions trips, the list could go on. We deny ourselves opportunities and ambition because we're afraid of the unknown. Or maybe we've already experienced the worst of things and don't want to go through it again. We could say that we've just become more mature while weighing out the costs and benefits, but why does it feel like that's just an excuse and we're actually just scared?

What holds us back is pain and failure. Yet if we allow ourselves to look past that, we see that all pain does eventually heal and failures never become failures as long as you don't give up. These all build character and are lessons we learn. With God's love, you will always heal as long as you give it time and you allow yourself too. And with God's grace and love, your identity ultimately lies in Christ and you're not defined by anything else. So why not take risks? I see it as a fair opportunity cost to take if you look at what it is you want to achieve. I think it's well worth it. So I encourage you to find the kid in you and to not be scared to take those risks and live life.

To be honest, i'm not saying I have this completely down either, but what I do know is that I rather live a full life with scars than be a porcelain doll.

Perfect For The Fall Transition Into Winter

I came across this in someone's fashion blog. And i'm in lovelovelove with this simple idea.

I want to wear this all day, everyday. I love pairing baggy sweaters with tight jeans or shorts with tights, but this looks fun. I mean I wouldn't choose a sweater with this many apparent holes in there, gotta leave something to the imagination nawmsayin? ;) hahaha but I love the fact she's wearing not jean but cloth shorts with a pair of knee high socks. It's the perfect amount of skin showing. And the whole thing just looks so damn comfy so that I could just lounge anywhere. Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee it. 

My Mom Gives The Best Explanations

Me: Mom, lately a couple of people have asked if I was Vietnamese. People used to ask if I was Korean or Chinese, but now it's Vietnamese or Chinese. What the heck?!?!

Mom: It's because you got your hair cut by a Vietnamese lady.

Me: .......................

Me: So by your logic you're saying if I got my hair cut by a black person, they'll think i'm black?

Life Is However You Interpret It

Got Any Extra Change, I Mean Love?

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."
— Mother Teresa


Mother Tersea's got it to a T. To be emotionally hungry is much worse than being physically hungry. Someone's care sustains a person much longer than a loaf of bread. Humans are emotional beings. Imagine being unwanted, unloved, uncared for and forgotten by everybody. How horrible would that be? Could you imagine that? But there are people and animals out there who fit exactly in those categories. No one should be deprived of care and love. If we can't even give this to others, what kind of an unfortunate human race are we?


Love isn't always those pretty little hearts we draw. Love is realistically much more than that. Love isn't always easy. 

Rogue

"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with."

- Carrie [Sex And The City]

My Heart Yearns For Adventure

Once in awhile I let my mind wander. It's always this one scenario I play out in my head.


I'm at the airport with one small suitcase in my hand, a backpack on and smile on my face. I pull the world map out of my backpack and stare at it for a second. I close my eyes and drop my finger on the map. My eyes open and I see my finger on the Red Sea. Well that won't do. I close my eyes and twirl my finger once again and my finger lands. I open my eyes. Australia. My next destination. I take my life savings and buy a one way ticket to Australia. I would stay there for 6 months, find a nice host family to stay with while I work odd jobs such as waitressing to pay my rent and meals. I would wander the city, see the sights, embrace myself in the culture and meet people of all sorts. After embracing each place i've inhabited and just about settled in, I would up and move on to the next. It would take me 6 months till I would pull out the map once again, close my eyes and choose a new place. And then after another 6 months repeat the process, repeatedly till my heart is content. Without a home, living from paycheck to paycheck, I would be like a hobo of the world. I would wander the world God created, see His creations. I would be a free spirit just learning about life itself and experiencing the beauty and darkness it holds.Could you imagine all the different types of people i'd meet, the stories i'd have?

But then my mind comes back and I remember the things I must accomplish here too. I'll just have to find my own adventure here to pacify my heart.

The "Yo Quiero" Folder

I promise a substantial post will come up soon. Until then, I will share with you a couple pictures. I have a folder on my computer labeled "Yo Quiero" which is translated to "I Want." Here are a few things found in it.

That is all I will share. If you ever get me one of these things from my "Yo Quiero" list, I offer you my lifetime friendship. And a double scoop of ice cream, any flavor.

My Life As It Is

Lately this has been my life. As a Business Economics major and Management minor, my science classes included Birth to Conception and Aids. You know, the real important stuff. haha The last time I took Chemistry was 6 years ago. Technically I should've taken the intro to chem class before this like the other students, but I just got the Dean's approval and skipped it. So basically i'm starting anew and my lack of knowledge in the molecular world is really showing through my frustrations with online homework. I haven't put enough effort in learning the material and with my upcoming exam, homework, pre lab, follow up lab work, this picture you see has become up current weekdays, Friday nights, Saturday afternoons. When you want something, you gotta work for it. And it's definitely time to give up my social life to put in the work that is needed.

I want this.

All right the fire alarm just went off in my coffee shop. Talk about a caffeine buzz kill.

To Be A Bay Area Fan

Now that i'm finally back in my roots, i've been going to some of my firsts of games. Tonight I just came back from a pre season Sharks game against Phoenix (which btw, they won 3-1). Watching hockey in person is definitely kind of exciting. I don't support violence, but I love the fighting involved. But it probably doesn't send a good message out to the kids who watch though. haha And just last weekend, I went to my first Giants game (which we also kicked ass and won, one or two home runs were hit). Honestly, i'm not really a huge baseball fan but it was fun walking around and the atmosphere. Despite these couple of wins, being a bay area fan can really be disheartening sometimes, but that's okay. We believe! I'm really excited for basketball season to support the Warriors, not just for Jeremy Lin's sake either. With the whole Miami Heat and Lakers drama, it'd be really interesting to see who wins the championship this year. My friend has season tickets for the Warriors, i'm crossing my fingers and hoping for her to take me a few times if her fam doesn't go. Or you know my birthday is in May and early season tickets wouldn't be too bad of a gift...........just saying...haha

There's just something really fun about drinking a beer while eating nachos and watching the game live. And what really makes the game fun is the fans. They go wild from their gear to their chanting and jeering. I especially like seeing the kids wearing their cute little jerseys or hats.

When I become a mother, i'm definitely putting my kids in sports camps, whether they're a boy or girl. When they're a baby i'm going to put in front of them a bunch of sports items like a basketball, hockey puck, soccer ball and tennis ball and see what they crawl up to and grab. haha It'll determine their fate. The reason why there's only those items is cause I don't really want them to play anything else. I think all the other sports are kind of boring to watch, like swimming? Yeah, not too down to see my child in a speedo in front of everyone and watch them......just swim. haha I am excited to go to my kid's games and watch them play with my hubby. I just hope our kids don't suck. If my kids end up not liking any sports but rather read books and study, I guess i'll still love them........I mean I guess it'll be okay if they don't end up as a pro athlete but cure cancer instead, i'm not that picky. haha

In any case, i'm excited for all the games to come! Go Bay Area!

The Cycle

Sometimes in life we create another problem to avoid the first problem. But in the end, you just got more problems. People are complicated creatures.

On a side note, I find my spirit to be really restless lately. It's like i'm yearning for something and i'm not quite sure what that is yet.

On another side note, why is it that whenever I do video blogs, it always still freezes on such an unattractive face of mine? And please don't say it's because every face of mine is unattractive. harhar haha But really, every time I come to my blog I see it, and then it makes me a little sad because I look retarded. :(

Video Blog #4

This has no substance but that's okay. Props to whoever made it to the end.

The Hands Up Disease

While listening to the radio, my friend Joe brought up a very good point. It seems as though all the songs are requiring us to do one thing. What is it? To put our hands up in the air. Why is it that suddenly just about every current song on the radio are asking up to put our hands in the air??? When did that become the "cool thing to do"? After awhile that's ish gets tiring. It's like my hands are constantly in the air in the car! Which means no hands on the wheel...therefore leading to unsafe driving. Or at the club. Which means while i'm holding a drink at the club, I have to lift that up too? It means i'm working out unevenly with about a 16oz weight. Or I have to be double fisting to get an even work out. Either way....no bueno. To prove my point, I have gathered some evidence of all the current songs with this "hands up" disease and have described my feelings towards each one.

California Gurls// Katy Perry

California gurls, we’re undeniable

Fine, fresh, fierce, we got it on lock

West Coast represent, now put your hands up

(Now if you don't put your hands up, you're just not being patriotic to the West Coast and that would be kinda fcked up.)

Party In The USA//Miley Cyrus

Got my hands up, they’re playin’ my song

And now I’m gonna be okay

Yeah! It’s a party in the USA!

(It is true. When someone is playin' my song, I just GOTTA put my hands up!)

Dynamite//Taio Cruz

Hands in the air

Put your hands in the air

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes

Saying a-yo

Gotta let go!

(This one is better because it requires me to throw my hands up in the air only SOMETIMES. Makes me feel like I still got free will. Nice.)

Like a G6// Far East Movement

Its that 808 bump, make you put yo hands up

Make you put yo hands up, put yo, put yo hands up

Hell yeaaaa, Make you put yo hands up, put yo hands up

(It is true. This song does make me put my hands up. I do it in hopes of owning a G6 someday.)

Club Can’t Handle Me//Flo.rida

Watching you watching me we go all out

The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhh)

Put your hands up! Put your hands up! Put your hands up!

(Pretty sure if everyone in the club put their hands up, I wouldn't be able to handle the club and all the sweaty pits they got goin' on.)

Just A Dream//Nelly

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.

And now they’re gone and you wish you could give them everything

I said, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up

And now they’re gone and you wish you could give them everything

(This is too depressing. I don't even have the energy left to put my hands up).

Put Your Hands Up//Fatman Scoop

You got a $100 dollar bill, put your hands up!

You got a $50 dollar bill, put your hands up!

You got a $20 dollar bill, put your hands up!

You got a $10 dollar bill, put your hands up!

(This actually comes in handy. I now know who to ask for money. This makes hustling easier. Nioce.)

All I Do Is Win//DJ Khaled

And every time I step up in the building

Everybody hands go up

And they stay there, and they say “yeah,” and they stay there

Up, down, up, down, up, down

‘Cause all I do is win, win, win A

nd if you goin’ in, put your hands in the air, make ‘em stay there

(Well this is just plain torture. Not only do I have to put my hands up but they have to go up, down, up, down, up, down like a freakin' workout. And THEN I gotta make 'em stay there?!?! Dude, what's wrong with you? And i'm doing this just cause you're stepping in the building? You're not even cute!)

With so many demands for us to "put our hands up," it can be really confusing about how to handle the situation. My best advice? Use deodorant. If you're gonna be following this trend, you might as well do it while smelling good. None of us want to smell yo' stank. My choice of preference is this deodorant. Invisible dry and I get to smell like Wild Freesia? Win.

All I Do Is Win

If I had the money, i'd pay people to follow me around playing this song in the background. In the supermarket. In a coffee shop. At schoo. In a pmt place. At church. In my friend's house. At job interviews. Damn, i'd be steezin for sure.

ALL I DO IS WIN WIN WIN, NO MATTER WHAT

Hiking At Its Best

Sunny day, hiking, wine, lentil chips & good company. An afternoon well spent.

Beauty Tips 101

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you will never walk alone

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed,

revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that

she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman

must be seen from in her eyes because that is the doorway to her

heart, the place where love resides."

Audrey Hepburn

Over Consumption

Whenever I go out to eat and I can't seem to finish my meal, I never force myself to finish it all. Yes yes, we all hear the argument of "there are starving kids in Africa", but despite the starving kids in Africa...the fact is i'm full. Why force myself to finish off the plate? My belief is that when I go to a restaurant, i'm ultimately paying to be full and satisfied. So if I were to force the rest of the food down, i'd end up feeling too full and uncomfortable...which simply conflicts with my goals. I'm also an Asian female who weighs less than 200 pounds (I weigh exactly 199 pounds, sup big girl). So does it make sense that the same portion of an pasta entree at the Cheesecake Factory is going to fill both me or a 175 pound male or a midget exactly the same way? Probably not. Just sayin'. I think that when you have just enough, then you should be content. Why force yourself to eat everything thats out in front of you? If there is an ample amount left over, then just take it home. This is why I don't like going to buffets cause it makes me feel like I fail at getting my money's worth and you don't get to bring anything back. The only exceptions I make for buffets are all you can eat Korean BBQ and sushi cause I am a huge meat person and I love sushi so I definitely can pull my weight there. I believe in eating to your heart's content and your stomach's worth. I also believe there is always a separate stomach for dessert. My main point is that we shouldn't feel forced to finish everything that is given to us. For example, you go to KFC and order the 12 wings deal but you find yourself full after 10 wings, but there's only 2 wings left so you might as well finish it off right? But if you're already full, then why? Often times we will over consume because we feel it is our right or duty to or just because we can. That's why Americans are kinda chubbs.

The American society is built on over consumption, not just in our eating habits but in so many other ways. The amount of clothes in our closet, the amount of junk in our garage, the amount of paper we don't recycle, the 30 pack of water bottles we buy instead of a filter, etc. Although consuming is what helps stimulate our economy, I find it a problem in our value system. It's all about consuming the best, new thing (i.e. all iProducts). And it's the same small percentage of the population that keeps consuming while others find themselves barely consuming. We just all need to find a balance. If we could all just be content with having enough, we'd have a lot more fulfillment. It's like when you're super hungry and you keep eating and eating cause you think you're still hungry, but if you were to stop and just wait for 10 minutes your brain is able to process that you're actually full. We constantly are consuming to satisfy every one of our human needs, but the thing is God always provides us with all we need, it's just hard to recognize it.

I Believe

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."

- Audrey Hepburn

Howdy There

The Best Advice

Love yourself. Love the person that God has created you, in all your beauty and flaws. I believe that's one of the most important principles in life that every person should grasp. It's amazing what a little self TLC can do for you. :)

Simply Forgotten

There it was. Just like any other day I was getting ready in the morning while listening to my upbeat, girly, guilty pleasure music itunes playlist. Except unlike any other day, I noticed it. I had completely forgotten about it. Looking at myself in the mirror, my eyes widened in half surprise and half unfamiliarity. It was as though I were rummaging through a box of keepsakes and stumbled upon a forgotten item, a strange mix of familiarity and foreignness. I ran my finger over it and felt the uneven scar. The touch felt so foreign to me. For as long as I can remember i've had this fairly small but visible scar. In fact it's been so long that I actually have absolutely no recollection of when or how it happened. The earliest memory I have of it is me asking my mom how I got the scar. Even the memory of that is a bit hazy. I think my mom told me I was a little girl when it happened; I was running and tripped on the cement. Simple enough right? I always wished a crazier story had happened, like I was a little girl rushing to save a baby bird falling from a tree and in the process tripped on the tree roots. Or a man tried to kidnap me with a knife but I fought my way out of his hold but in the midst of the epic fight, the knife had left a scar. But nope, I was running on the cement and tripped. I wonder how fast was I running. I wonder how big the scar was when I was a little girl because it's been years and it seems to never have shrunk. I wonder why it never healed like the other scars I got as a child, scars that I actually remember getting. I wonder if it hurt. I wonder if I cried when it happened. I like to think that I didn't cause you know, I probably was a very tough little girl. I like to think of a lot of things. I wonder why I don't remember.

Very rarely does anyone notice my scar. Hell, it's been years since i've even noticed it. It's strange to live with a scar without any memory of the incident or the pain that may have had come with it. Sometimes it feels as though forgotten memories are secrets our subconscious keep from us. But hey, that's just sounds like crazy talk.

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Oops on being so M.I.A. Just wanted to say i'm alive and well, despite spending the last 4 nights in Vegas. haha

A Perfect Afternoon

I'm going to make this, sit in the sun and enjoy it with a good book. Then my life would be temporarily complete.

Original Gangsters Eat Strawberry Ice Cream Bars

A couple days ago it was nice and hot. Just the way I like my men. (joking! har har) And nothing says hello to a hot summer's day than short shorts and a tasty strawberry cream bar. It was hot and I had run out of my small pint of ice cream so I dragged the Cautious Optimist with me to the closest grocery store to buy ice cream. And so here's post #2 of My Messy Closet edition.

Obey 'Original Gangster' tank. thrifted RVCA cutoff shorts. Target sandals. Strawberry ice cream bar from Ralphs. (Like that one arm action grabbing my hat as if the non existent wind is going to blow it off? haaaaaaaaaaaaa, why am I such a nub?)

You see, I have somewhat of a difficulty putting some color into my skin ever since I stopped doing track and field. Spent these last 4 years in Socal and I still look like i've still been living in Norcal. This summer i'm putting Operation Crispy Bacon in the works. I'm going to legitimately try and get a tan this summer, or at least a little bit more color. This plan is called Operation Crispy Bacon...not because I am referring myself as a piece of meat but just because I love bacon. Mmm.........bacon sounds good right now......

Friday Night & The Feelings Right

It's 9:30PM Friday night. Lily & I were at her house trying to come up with ideas on how to entertain ourselves for the night. We couldn't come up with anything so since we had just gone shopping, I suggested we just throw on a little something new and go to Gyu Kaku to eat since we were kind of hungry. We get to the restaurant and while we wait for our table Lily suggests "Hey, let's act like a lesbian couple. Come on! We're here to celebrate our anniversary! Should it be 1 year? Nah, 6 months is good." Of course my initial reaction is wtf? Put yourself in my shoes. The girl you've shared a room and bathroom with for the last 3 years asks you to pretend to be a lesbian couple for the night...........Wth, right? I laugh but i'm intrigued by the idea because it's so ridiculous that no one does it but at the same time it's so embarrassing. I look at her and say "No, it's going to be so embarrassing. What's the point?" She answers me, "For fun. Come on, cheap thrills." Those are the words and the little bit of hesitation I have is gone. Cause for the sake of cheap thrills, i'm down.

So this is the night of Lily & my 6 month anniversary as a lesbian couple.

The server seats us walking past a bunch of packed tables into a semi secluded room with a very roomy booth for us, and a group of around 6 at the booth next to us. We sit down semi disappointed because the lack of large groups means the less fun and the small intimate group next to us in this enclosed space might just make it even more awkward. The server hands us our menus and Lily tells her that we're celebrating our 6 month anniversary. She congratulates us with a smile and wishes us a happy anniversary. The table next to us overhears it and it's obvious because all of them are looking over at us. As we order, we start playing our roles as the lesbian couple. Because i'm wearing a long maxi dress, I start acting more dainty and girly while Lily says things like "You want water too, right babe?" in front of the waiter. I'm pretty sure everyone believed us because I mean, what 2 normal girls would joke about something like that? Us apparently.

Here's my "girlfriend" with our food. I'm not sure if it's because of a) natural instinct and reflex with the room placement or b) because we're girls or c) people thought we were lesbian but guys would past by our booth to go to the bathroom and i'd end up accidentally making eye contact with them as they walked back looking in. Let's go with option C.

So we order sesame ice cream for dessert but to our surprise another waitress comes in with our ice cream with additional s'mores on top and a lit candle. She congratulates us saying "Happy Anniversary" and the other waitress comes back in smiling saying the dessert is on her. LOL oops? Haha hustling dessert by accident. The group next to us starts saying/singing happy birthday and at this point I feel pretty freakin' awkward.

Here we are with our 6 month anniversary free dessert on the house. Don't we make a cute couple? Afterwards we decided to grab a drink at Tin Lizzie. Of course right? For those around the area you'd know it's a pretty popular gay bar. hahaha The perfect way to end our night. Here's Lily with a bunch of cute gay men in the background.

After we grabbed a drink at Tin Lizzies as wallflowers we decided to end the night on a straight note. So we end up going to a nearby bar and 5 minutes in, Lily was immediately approached by a drunk creeper. Ah....the life of a straight girl. How I missed it so...hahaha

So yeap, this is how Lily and Tiffies do on Friday night. All done in the name of cheap thrills. And shoutout to Lilycakes cause I know she's reading this ish. Happy 6 month Lilycakes, but uh, let's hold up on the texts. It was a one night thing all right?

10 Simple Mistakes We Make

1. Taking the qualities of someone who is soft spoken and quiet and mistaking them as being a nice, good person.

2. Throwing a red shirt in with a full load of whites and coming up with a bunch of newly pink clothes.

3. Yelling at a friend for not responding to you, only to realize that you've been yelling at a stranger and your friend is nowhere near you.

4. Looking at a black window to see your reflection but it turns out that black window was just tinted and everyone in the restaurant/store knows you were checking yourself out.

5. Singing out loud along to a song when you realize you only have your headphones on and you're in public.

6. Dating someone you knew you probably shouldn't have.

7. Going to a "Cash Only" place with only a credit card on hand.

8. Driving all the way to a place to eat only to realize it's closed when all of this could have been avoided with a call beforehand or checking the place's closing hours online.

9. Falling asleep with sunglasses on in the sun and getting a funny tan.

10. Making a joke and putting a profile picture of you and a friend looking couply with the caption "Save the date! Next year, August 16, 2011" and having people who don't know you as well think you're an actual couple, and on top of that, that you're actually engaged. What nubs.

Miss Whatswong

My Messy Closet Edition

Dressing up has always been kind of fun. I've always had an interest in it and playing around with style. I don't think I could ever really keep a fashion blog, but I think i'm going to try and just expand my current blog and try to put in random style blogs for kicks. After all this blog has the most random of things in here, so who knows what you'll find. Hopefully my random style blogs do not fail as much as my vidblogs. hahaha The posts won't be too crazy or anything because i'm nub but i'll just add in random outfit pictures or something clothing related. They'll be under the tag labels of "My Messy Closet." :)

Jawana & I at the LACMA

Maxi dresses make me happy because I feel like im sauntering all over the place. Saunter is such a fun word. I think maxi dresses are perfect for summer because it brings more class than short shorts. And unlike short shorts, you don't need to shave since no one sees your legs anyways. HAHA True but nah just kidding, I still prefer smooth legs. It feels nice to have the dress brush against the legs.

So recently i've been shacking up with the Cautious Optimist and she'll be my current accomplice in taking pictures for these "My Messy Closet" posts. Doesn't she look lovely? She's rocking a pair of thrifted Michael Kors, a super great find!

The summer sun feels good on the skin. I really hope the gloomy summer days are over. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Ghost Of An Existence

When you start moving out, you start to pack. A vital component of packing is determining what's to be kept and thrown away. Things such as old midterms and notes are tossed right away, especially those midterms that share the same number as an anorexic girl's weight. But then you get to the sentimental stuff and it's a different story. Small things like old notes, old pictures, small gifts, letters, birthday cards, movie and concert stubs, even business cards of people you know or restaurants you go to and random crap are put into in a box to be kept aside. No matter what, they have a place in your heart and you can't bear to throw them away. After living in this apartment for the last couple of years, things have accumulated. And coincidently things have changed.

It's crazy coming across an old birthday card from a person you barely talk to anymore. Or encouragement notes from people who you had barely knew at the time but now you've gotten to know them better. A silly gift from the guy you dated before. A picture of a group hangout from freshman year that you look back and it just looks so foreign now. A ticket stub of a bad movie you saw with friends. Memories flood in and it's as if you're dealing with the ghost of an existence. A slight taste of bittersweetness kicks in. Sometimes people come in your life and stay. But sometimes people come in and out of your life for only brief moments of time and at some points, you may have even been attached at the hip. And reading through these old notes or going through these old pictures reminds you of times you've spent with the person. These last 4 years at UCI have gone by so quickly, it's crazy.

I think the craziest thing is that on the other side of the spectrum, i've written plenty of cards, encouragement notes, graduation cards to the years above me, picture and given random things to other people. But at this very exact moment in time, what place do I hold in that person's life? A good friend? An acquaintance? Someone foreign now? Or am I just a ghost of a past existence?

What ever it is, I hope the memories we have are ones you can look back on and smile. And if we're lucky, we'll create even better memories in the days ahead.

It seems as through the whole process of moving out leaves a taste that's a little more bitter than bittersweet.

What The Random

Warning: This post is utterly useless and i'm tired so it's going to sound very jumbled.

Okay, I was just about to hop into my bed wearing my "Carifornia" sweater that my friend got me when he went abroad in Japan because apparently they don't use "L's" in Japan and that is amusing. But yes, he went abroad to Japan and ended up getting me a "Carifornia" sweater..........yea, I don't get it either. Hence, it has become my comfy sleeping sweater. haha Note* he is the same guy who got me that letter "T" that sits in my back trunk (I'm pretty sure he does not read my blog, if for some crazy reason he does, um....HI AND I APPRECIATE YOU! haha).

ANYWAYS, back to what I was saying.......I was about to hop into bed when I realized I haven't posted in awhile (awhile meaning like 5/6 days) haha so just to update you a little.....my days have been surprisingly quite filled doing I don't even know what, but it's been good. Today included bowling, Tastea, Boiling Crab, buying tons of good priced nail polish (I freakin was acting like a kid in a candy store), ice cream & movies, and just simply hanging out.

4th of July was yesterday and next year I want to own/wear something as cool as this jacket for the occasion. So I got about 364 days left to find something as badass. Wish me luck.

That is all. This was a completely random, useless post. Goodnight, gotta get sleep for my long day tomorrow.

Decisions

Life is made of decisions; some are menial and some can change your life. The tricky thing is that actually almost every decision changes your life in some way. The sad thing is that part of growing up is owning up to every decision you make too. Being human, it is extremely easy to make the wrong decisions. We've all made mistakes in the past and sometimes we find ourselves still paying for those mistakes. But it's okay, it's a part of growing up. Mistakes turn into lessons if we do it right. Striving to be a Godly woman is hard ish and for all I know, simple decisions i've made here and there could possibly add up into something disastrous. I wish I had like like a huge light up warning sign to warn me every time i'd be close to making the wrong choice, it'd make things so much easier. This time I got to keep on making smart decisions. There are so many choices of all different sorts I feel like i'm constantly facing and I gotta be smart about it. Gotta show my parents they raised me right.

"It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime."

The Kite Runner

Ridin' Solo

This has been the new morning jam these days. Actually it is the theme song for 3/4 of 904 Junction. haha Perfect song to set into the summer. It's going to be a good one, I feel it. :)

We had a 904 Junction reunion last Saturday for Vicki's 22nd birthday. Even though it's only been 2 weeks, it feels like we've been apart much longer all doing our own thing. It felt good to all be back at the apartment together. A group of us celebrated Vicki's birthday on a boat which was really chill. We drove the boat around for a couple of hours while enjoying the scenery, music, food, strawberries and mimosas. Checked out the beach a little afterwards and then later at night went to the comedy improv. Twas a good day. :)

Lovely 904 Junction ladies, how i've missed you so.

Silent Readers

I'm not even really sure who even reads my blog. Someone told me awhile back that they read my blog and I was surprised. I didn't know know he knew it existed. I'm fairly open on my blog considering it's a public blog, which I hope doesn't bite me back in the butt. But I have always been a pretty open person and writing on blogs have always been quite therapeutic.

I wonder why people read my blog. And some of my posts have a lot of words, so for anyone to even commit to reading an entire post is kind of amazing (Well actually the way the layout of my blog is, it looks a lot longer than it actually is but people tend to be visual creatures) Granted i'm weird but am I even that interesting of a person? Is it because they enjoy my insights? Or they find somewhat of a connection to me through my daily struggles? Or if they are encouraged by my words? Or if they just want to get to know me? Or because it's in their blog newsfeed and it's simply there to read? Or is it the same reason I do? I love reading my friends blog or even some random people's blog because what the person chooses to share and how they choose to share intrigues me. I love being updated on their lives; there's this silent connection. I can't explain it, but it really makes me happy when my friends blog. Ok that sounded really loserish, but ay, no shame. haha Ok goodnight, for a person finally just starting to get over my horrible flu I should have been in bed 5 hours ago.

But to end with a question to appease my curiosity, what keeps you coming back to reading my blog anyways?