I Think This Belongs To the Naughty (Wish) List

Guys, with Christmas just around the corner, i'm sure you're wondering what to get your significant other. Rather than choosing a lame sweater or Star Craft II which you will end up "borrowing," we all know you can never go wrong with jewelry. Right? Thanks to Vivienne Westwood, you can give the gift of penis with a diamond droplet at the end, just in case the penis alone wasn't classy enough. What girl wouldn't want a penis pendant? Wow, I think this is the most times i've ever typed penis in my life. Penispenispenis. Okay,

I think i'm good for the whole year.

I feel like there should be a "that's what she said" joke somewhere...........but I can't think of anything. Amazing.


*I hope none of you guys are actually confused into thing I want this. I find it extremely ridiculous to wear a penis on your neck. haha

Haveeeee.........You Met Lily?

Lily is my room mate, it's 2AM and we're both online sitting in the room, her at her desk and me in bed and all of a sudden...

ch1ngalilly (2:00:20 AM): PEENUSSS
pinkxpandaz (2:00:27 AM): .....
ch1ngalilly (2:00:41 AM): like dis
pinkxpandaz (2:00:43 AM): reminds me of 100c when u drew penis all over my notes
ch1ngalilly (2:00:50 AM): 8=====D
pinkxpandaz (2:00:50 AM): im watching you
ch1ngalilly (2:00:53 AM): oops
ch1ngalilly (2:00:57 AM): that's not supposed to happen
pinkxpandaz (2:01:01 AM): and glaring
ch1ngalilly (2:01:05 AM): 8===== D
ch1ngalilly (2:01:07 AM): there we goes
ch1ngalilly (2:01:11 AM): depending on how deep you go
ch1ngalilly (2:01:15 AM): it could be this too
ch1ngalilly (2:01:19 AM): 8=D
ch1ngalilly (2:01:21 AM): oops
pinkxpandaz (2:01:22 AM): ...........
ch1ngalilly (2:01:25 AM): 8= D
ch1ngalilly (2:01:29 AM): deep throatin
ch1ngalilly (2:01:30 AM): woot
pinkxpandaz (2:01:30 AM): ..................

This is what I deal with on a daily basis. The weird part? I'm going to miss this when college ends.

P.S. You get two high fives and a booty bump if you understood my blog title reference.

Parties and Mother Stories

If I was allowed to throw the greatest party ever, & all the guests i could invite would be guarented to come I would invite...

Tiffany's Legend...wait for it...dary Guest List:

stephen colbert

for politic comic relief

bobby lee

for some asian lovin'

ellen degeneres

for some lesbian lovin' and comic relief and bc she's just awesome

britney spears

for some crazy. who knows after a few drinks...she & ellen could be best buds.

taylor swift

for some good tunes

kanye west

so he could interrupt her

tiger woods

to start some drama

puck from glee

for some eye candy

the other asian in glee

just because i like them asians

tila tequila

for shits & giggles.

hmmmmmmm i might invite some other people, but that is one legit guest list right there. throw in some food, drinks and me and that would be the most epic party EVAR.

Anyways..........update on the mother stories.

Every time I come home my mom loves to hand me some advice.

There was that one time my mother told me to learn how to bake bc that's what apparently attracts guys.

one month later.....she then advises me that if I date two guys, to not let them know about each other.

Um.

1. Why are you telling me this first of all?

2. Why would you encourage this mom???

3. DUH! Why would I let them know about each other??? That's just common sense! Please mom, your daughter knows whatsup.

haha anyways This morning before I went to church, my mom told me not to drink and drive......because that's obviously very useful information before I go to church. And also because I slept at like 11PM the night before, yes I slept at 11PM on a Saturday night. I am lame, please do not judge. haha And during dinner, my mom tells me that she read that 10% of guys on Christmas day are looking for a one night stand and to be careful to not be tricked by guys...because you know on Christmas night, things get a little crazy..........right..........haha But that is sad and pathetic for guys to look for one night stands on Christmas. Way to try to cash in on someone's holiday loneliness. *sigh*

haha enough blabber. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!