My Heart Yearns For Adventure

Once in awhile I let my mind wander. It's always this one scenario I play out in my head.


I'm at the airport with one small suitcase in my hand, a backpack on and smile on my face. I pull the world map out of my backpack and stare at it for a second. I close my eyes and drop my finger on the map. My eyes open and I see my finger on the Red Sea. Well that won't do. I close my eyes and twirl my finger once again and my finger lands. I open my eyes. Australia. My next destination. I take my life savings and buy a one way ticket to Australia. I would stay there for 6 months, find a nice host family to stay with while I work odd jobs such as waitressing to pay my rent and meals. I would wander the city, see the sights, embrace myself in the culture and meet people of all sorts. After embracing each place i've inhabited and just about settled in, I would up and move on to the next. It would take me 6 months till I would pull out the map once again, close my eyes and choose a new place. And then after another 6 months repeat the process, repeatedly till my heart is content. Without a home, living from paycheck to paycheck, I would be like a hobo of the world. I would wander the world God created, see His creations. I would be a free spirit just learning about life itself and experiencing the beauty and darkness it holds.Could you imagine all the different types of people i'd meet, the stories i'd have?

But then my mind comes back and I remember the things I must accomplish here too. I'll just have to find my own adventure here to pacify my heart.

Haveeeee.........You Met Lily?

Lily is my room mate, it's 2AM and we're both online sitting in the room, her at her desk and me in bed and all of a sudden...

ch1ngalilly (2:00:20 AM): PEENUSSS
pinkxpandaz (2:00:27 AM): .....
ch1ngalilly (2:00:41 AM): like dis
pinkxpandaz (2:00:43 AM): reminds me of 100c when u drew penis all over my notes
ch1ngalilly (2:00:50 AM): 8=====D
pinkxpandaz (2:00:50 AM): im watching you
ch1ngalilly (2:00:53 AM): oops
ch1ngalilly (2:00:57 AM): that's not supposed to happen
pinkxpandaz (2:01:01 AM): and glaring
ch1ngalilly (2:01:05 AM): 8===== D
ch1ngalilly (2:01:07 AM): there we goes
ch1ngalilly (2:01:11 AM): depending on how deep you go
ch1ngalilly (2:01:15 AM): it could be this too
ch1ngalilly (2:01:19 AM): 8=D
ch1ngalilly (2:01:21 AM): oops
pinkxpandaz (2:01:22 AM): ...........
ch1ngalilly (2:01:25 AM): 8= D
ch1ngalilly (2:01:29 AM): deep throatin
ch1ngalilly (2:01:30 AM): woot
pinkxpandaz (2:01:30 AM): ..................

This is what I deal with on a daily basis. The weird part? I'm going to miss this when college ends.

P.S. You get two high fives and a booty bump if you understood my blog title reference.

Finally Time To Blog

So much has happened since my last post, but also it feels as nothing has changed either. Weird feeling that i'm not sure how to explain so we'll stick to the superficial things about break. hahah To sum a good amount of it up...Spring Break included a lost phone :(((, Vegas, an interview, no internet, hang outs, started off my break with food poisoning and ending it with another sickness and sore throat. Sounds more bad than good almost, haha but it was a good break overall. :) I wanted to do a lot more but time or health didn't really permit it so. Break was way too short though and i'm not really to go back to school but alas I must. Norcal is where the heart is, but I must admit I missed Socal (or more like some faces in Socal) a great deal too.

During the break, this imagery popped into my mind. It was the image of a little white rabbit that was trapped in a pet cage. And the cage was lifted up but the rabbit wouldn't leave for a little while, even though it was given the chance to be free.

But that flinch of hesitation, which may just be a second or even 10 minutes, the rabbit stays inside its cage even though the cage is lifted. Isn't that a ridiculous idea? There's nothing standing between the rabbit and its freedom but for some odd reason, it doesn't want to leave. Perhaps there is a comfort inside the cage, its just comfortable staying inside rather than leaving to go to the outside world. It has grown attachment to it's 12 by 12 space in the cage. It doesn't realize that it can leave and that there is much more out there. But that flinch of hesitation is just hesitation and the rabbit flees its cage. And once the rabbit leaves the cage, it runs for all it's got and it'll never come back, unless caught again. It just has to get over its initial fear and leave.

Pick Me Up & Let's Go Somewhere

Photo taken by the beautiful & talented Felicia

Waiting.

Sometimes when you're not sure about something, all you can do is wait. I'm waiting for something and I don't know what. Perhaps an opportunity to come and whisk me away. To sweep me away under the current, where I don't have any control. Sometimes control is unnecessary when you want to truly embrace an experience. Life at times can seem to be just routine and mundane, nothing is really a surprise. The same things happen in just different contexts. The same situation, with different people. Same same but different different. Not to say my friends bore me or anything because my friends are amazing. But we can't get too comfortable with life. Life and God has so much to offer and I want to take all that it has to offer. There is so much out there I don't know about. The raw humanness of the homeless. The sunrise on top of a mountain. How a computer is made from scratch. The sorrows of a single mother. The innocence in child's smile. The regrets of an unsuccessful gambler. Beautiful scenery. God's love and grace.

Breathless moments. Excitement. Adventure. Passion. Sadness. Beauty. Love.

There's a lot of experiences that I have yet to experience. Emotions for me to feel. Stories I have yet to hear. Stories I have yet to tell. People I have yet to meet. Ships of the friend I have yet to develop. Risks I have yet to take. And finding my personal legend.

I want it all. I don't want to miss out on anything or anyone.