Nothing New Under The Sun

Once in awhile you feel unoriginal. And i'm not just talking about how my name is Tiffany Wong. You feel as though every emotion you've ever had, every situation you've ever been in, every way in which you've existed is a repeat of someone's history. And best case scenario, it's not a total repeat but a spin off. You may be described to have the grace of Audrey Hepburn, the humor of Ellen DeGeneres, the independence of Joan the Arc or the relationship instability of Kim Kardashian, but everything described about you is in terms of other people. Ya feels me? Anyone? You ever hear of that theory that every sound has been produced in this world already by nature? No man made sound is truly original because nature has already created it.

At this point in time, I am no Beethoven's No. 5 Symphony, I am no Michael Jackson's Thriller, I am a mash up of all the influences i've let into my life. And it's a beautiful thing really, to make sense of all the unconventional pairings of the things, situations, people and places that have shaped my life. Although you may never be something completely new, you are still unique.

Curiosity

One of the hardest things in life is denying the things you feel you are entitled too, or the things you want. We believe that stopping things at the root is the easiest to do because it can only get so much harder when you've already stepped into it, right? And for some, that is. But I believe sometimes it's the hardest to stop things at the root, before the damage is done. Because instead you'll leave yourself wondering the what ifs and what nots until it drives you nuts. The curiosity kills you. It's like telling someone not to think about an old granny in a bikini and all of a sudden that's all you think about. (Did you just have a mental image in your head? Gross huh?) It's the endless possibilities of that situation that drive you crazy, thinking that you're pretty sure what you want wouldn't be good for you, but wondering if it might actually be that one exception. That it might just be the best wrong decision you make. Then again sometimes you get what you want, only to find out it was more than you wanted and more than you could've handled and ultimately, not what you actually wanted at all. And then you go back and think that maybe stopping your wants at the root was the easiest choice, that it wasn't worth the aftermath of the decision. But hey, at least now you know and you won't be wondering anymore.

Relative Truth

One of the things i've learned in the latter part of life is that people lie. I grew up with honest parents who really valued honesty and instilled this quality in the foundation of my upbringing. And other than little white lies, i've never told a major lie to my parents. I'm not afraid to claim responsibility of my actions. Also most of my really close friends know i'm not very good at lying unless for a good cause or if I really try to. I have problems even telling the people at Starbucks a fake name. Being misunderstood is one of the most annoying things ever because I hate having people believe in the wrong thing. In dramas and TV shows, misunderstandings are what keep the shows going on, but I cringe every time I see it happening. And as people we unconsciously tend to expect others to do what we ourselves would do. So I tend to trust what people say to be the truth. Some may call that being gullible, but I call it being trusting.

The craziest thing though is that sometimes people may think they are telling the truth, when in fact they're lying. They may not even be aware that they're lying. They tell the same lie over and over in hopes of it becoming the truth someday. And they're afraid to admit it because then they'll no longer be able to believe in the lie they've been telling themselves.

The truth is relative.

Sympathy Vs. Compassion

"May God break my heart so completely that the whole world falls in."

- Mother Teresa

The one quality that i've always admired the most about Mother Teresa was her compassion for people. People are self indulgent and at most times, the most we can feel for one another is sympathy. With sympathy you are able to empathize with a person. Compassion is a whole other level of care, it's not only empathizing with a person but being able to share their pain as part of your own and doing something about it. Compassion comes from God's love. Compassion is this crazy love that our world could use. In today's world we are numb to each other's said and unsaid needs, the pains in each other lives. Abandoned children, single mothers, the bullied, the homeless, the neighbor with the daily bruises on her arm, the boy from the broken family, but i'm not saying that everyone must have an extreme case or a story, even a friend who holds this unshared shame in their heart, or the person who feels lonely or empty . Everyone has some sort of pain in their lives, we just don't take the time to care. We don't find the need to do so. We don't know how to love one other as God loves us.

The beautiful thing about compassion is that there is no hierarchy involved. It is pure love. I read this in a devotional I did awhile back and it really touched me. "God made His own Son 'to be sin' that He might make the sinner into a saint. It is revealed throughout the Bible that our Lord took on Himself the sin of the world through identification with us, not through sympathy for us. He deliberately took on His own shoulders, and endured in His own body, the complete, cumulative sin of the human race. 'He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us. . .' and by so doing He placed salvation for the entire human race solely on the basis of redemption."

Is that not beautiful? He did not feel sorry for us, but he wanted to identify with us. That's what made Jesus' death so meaningful, through him we are able to have a relationship with God because he died for our sins. As much as we want to feel unique and special in the world, we're ultimately looking for a connection. For someone to know what we're going through and not feel sorry for us, but to connect from it. We want someone to know who we are inside and out and still love us. God called us to be compassionate people. Compassion is not something you can learn or be taught. It's a heart matter. It's being transformed by God and living out His love in everyday life.

Mother Tersea is such an inspiration to me and I hope one day to have even a quarter of the compassion she had in her heart. 

Open the eyes of my heart Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours.

Porcelain Dolls

When I was a child I was fearless on the playground as i'm sure many of you can relate. I'd ride the dangerous metal merry go round where other kids threw up from going too fast, jump down from high areas, slide down the tree trunks that were actually meant to hold up the structure so that I ended up ripping my spandex sliding down, and dare to skip not just 4 but 5(!!! I was pretty badass as a child no?) bars on the monkey bars which left me on the ground on my back in pain for a good 5 minutes. When I did get hurt I would whine a little, maybe even cry a few tears, but then i'd just get over it and keep playing. For some reason as a kid you feel invincible. Growing up you realize how fallible you actually are. I used to never be afraid of getting hurt. I was a naive young child with a no holds barred thing going on. Nowadays, we have second thoughts going into things, into love and relationships, into people, into career fields, into trying new things, into missions trips, the list could go on. We deny ourselves opportunities and ambition because we're afraid of the unknown. Or maybe we've already experienced the worst of things and don't want to go through it again. We could say that we've just become more mature while weighing out the costs and benefits, but why does it feel like that's just an excuse and we're actually just scared?

What holds us back is pain and failure. Yet if we allow ourselves to look past that, we see that all pain does eventually heal and failures never become failures as long as you don't give up. These all build character and are lessons we learn. With God's love, you will always heal as long as you give it time and you allow yourself too. And with God's grace and love, your identity ultimately lies in Christ and you're not defined by anything else. So why not take risks? I see it as a fair opportunity cost to take if you look at what it is you want to achieve. I think it's well worth it. So I encourage you to find the kid in you and to not be scared to take those risks and live life.

To be honest, i'm not saying I have this completely down either, but what I do know is that I rather live a full life with scars than be a porcelain doll.

Got Any Extra Change, I Mean Love?

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."
— Mother Teresa


Mother Tersea's got it to a T. To be emotionally hungry is much worse than being physically hungry. Someone's care sustains a person much longer than a loaf of bread. Humans are emotional beings. Imagine being unwanted, unloved, uncared for and forgotten by everybody. How horrible would that be? Could you imagine that? But there are people and animals out there who fit exactly in those categories. No one should be deprived of care and love. If we can't even give this to others, what kind of an unfortunate human race are we?


Love isn't always those pretty little hearts we draw. Love is realistically much more than that. Love isn't always easy. 

Over Consumption

Whenever I go out to eat and I can't seem to finish my meal, I never force myself to finish it all. Yes yes, we all hear the argument of "there are starving kids in Africa", but despite the starving kids in Africa...the fact is i'm full. Why force myself to finish off the plate? My belief is that when I go to a restaurant, i'm ultimately paying to be full and satisfied. So if I were to force the rest of the food down, i'd end up feeling too full and uncomfortable...which simply conflicts with my goals. I'm also an Asian female who weighs less than 200 pounds (I weigh exactly 199 pounds, sup big girl). So does it make sense that the same portion of an pasta entree at the Cheesecake Factory is going to fill both me or a 175 pound male or a midget exactly the same way? Probably not. Just sayin'. I think that when you have just enough, then you should be content. Why force yourself to eat everything thats out in front of you? If there is an ample amount left over, then just take it home. This is why I don't like going to buffets cause it makes me feel like I fail at getting my money's worth and you don't get to bring anything back. The only exceptions I make for buffets are all you can eat Korean BBQ and sushi cause I am a huge meat person and I love sushi so I definitely can pull my weight there. I believe in eating to your heart's content and your stomach's worth. I also believe there is always a separate stomach for dessert. My main point is that we shouldn't feel forced to finish everything that is given to us. For example, you go to KFC and order the 12 wings deal but you find yourself full after 10 wings, but there's only 2 wings left so you might as well finish it off right? But if you're already full, then why? Often times we will over consume because we feel it is our right or duty to or just because we can. That's why Americans are kinda chubbs.

The American society is built on over consumption, not just in our eating habits but in so many other ways. The amount of clothes in our closet, the amount of junk in our garage, the amount of paper we don't recycle, the 30 pack of water bottles we buy instead of a filter, etc. Although consuming is what helps stimulate our economy, I find it a problem in our value system. It's all about consuming the best, new thing (i.e. all iProducts). And it's the same small percentage of the population that keeps consuming while others find themselves barely consuming. We just all need to find a balance. If we could all just be content with having enough, we'd have a lot more fulfillment. It's like when you're super hungry and you keep eating and eating cause you think you're still hungry, but if you were to stop and just wait for 10 minutes your brain is able to process that you're actually full. We constantly are consuming to satisfy every one of our human needs, but the thing is God always provides us with all we need, it's just hard to recognize it.

Not So Fatal Attraction

They say the prettiest girls are the happiest girls. I find a lot of truth in that statement.

I say the manliest men are the passionate men. Hold up, let's clear this theory up. When a guy is doing something they're passionate about, I find them incredibly attractive. It's not based on the fact on whether or not they're good at it, but the fact that they have a passion for it. We sometimes confuse our talents as our passion which are are two separate entities. But anyhow, it is the way their eyes light up, their fingers move, the sweat that drips, their uplifting spirit, the way their energy fills the room, it all lures me in. In general I believe that any person is most attractive when they are doing something they are passionate about. I find myself completely enticed and attracted to that person as I see them in action. There's this certain allurement and aura that just pulls you in as you see the light in their eyes gleam. It's inspiring. They hold this type of charisma that you can't help but want to be a part of that moment and their lives. In a way it's comparable to a child's smile like there's this untainted joy in it. And when someone's doing something they're passionate about, they look damn good doing it. You feel me?

On a separate level........however enticed I am, I will admit I also hold a bit of jealousy. At one point in my life I thought I knew what my passion was but Sophomore year that very passion drained me and became my burden. Things are different now but I still don't know what exactly my passion in life in. Sure I may love doing a lot of things and I may be a little bit talented in different areas but someday with the right timing and the other half luck, i'll find it. It's all trial and error from here on out.

Economy

"These days with the tight economy, you hear so much in the media about economizing. But that's almost always about "how to get more for less" ... how to clip a coupon or find a bargain. But I think we're missing what could be the golden epiphany of these hard times: We shouldn't be asking ourselves "How can we afford it?" We should instead be asking, "Do we really need it?" There's lots of social science that shows that once you're above poverty level, more money and more stuff doesn't contribute to happiness. I believe that most Americans would be happier, and the quality of their lives would increase, if they would only spend and consume less. If you believe as I do, I think there will be a lot of upsides to the current recession in the long run. "