A Window In

Ever had a burning question on your heart that you wanted to asked me?

Ever been curious about something but didn't know who to ask?

Ever wanted to know the true meaning of life?

http://www.formspring.me/misswhatswong

Ask me anything. :)

This I Promise You

I realized sometimes I don't make the best decisions.

I like to have harmless fun and cheap thrills.

I give in to my inhibitions and reason that i'm a free spirit.

Nothing is harmful when not done overboard.

But I realize, I am deeply in need of purging.

I don't want tainted things.

I don't want to attract the wrong things and situations.

I want to be the best me I can be.

I want to live an amazing life that sparks something deep.

I want to live an upright life that does God right.

So goodbye to bad habits.

& I will become the best girl you ever meet.

Bold statement, but hey, sup wit it ;)

Benny

Going down memory lane.

I absolutely loved Benny.

Benny was my parakeet. I had him while I was probably in 3rd/4th grade. Before him I owned numerous pets including turtles, a kitten and fishes (fishes were my least favorite), but there was something about him that for some reason, he was the first pet I loved. He was a mix of blue, yellow and green. I remember asking my parents for a long time if I could own a parakeet and they resisted at first. I would go to the library to read books on how to own and take care of one. I promised my parents I would be so happy and would take care of it really well. And finally my parents allowed me, we went to Petco and I took home Benny. I have no idea why I named him that, but I did.

I would wake up early Saturday mornings, go out to the living room and dance and sing in front of the bird cage to entertain him. While I did homework, he would sit perched on my hand pecking at my pencil as I did math problems or wrote out whatever papers I had to do. Sometimes he'd poo on the page, and me being retarded didn't want to rewrite the whole thing or it'd be a hw sheet given out that I couldn't reproduce so i'd clean it up a little but turn in the stained thing. Gross I know. Dog ate the homework? Nah, parakeet poo-ed on my homework. He'd fly around the whole house and i'd lure him to me with my arm arched and millet in my hand. He never really let me pet him which stunk. But anyways, I loved him and his chirping. So he wouldn't be lonely, we bought him another parakeet which I named Joey (after Friends). I didn't like Joey as much but he was cool I guess.

We'd let the birds fly around the house for freedom and one night I was watching TV in my room and didn't want them to fly in so I slammed the door shut, but as I did Benny tried flying in the room. He got caught between the door and fell to the ground. I screamed, brought him to my parents and we put him in a shoe box as we got into the car to bring him to a vet. But for some reason we never drove out, maybe we had lost hope that he wouldn't make it or he had already died and as a child, I didn't know. I carried him in my hands in the car as I cried. I had killed him by accident. That could possibly be the worst feeling in the world, to kill something you love. THe hands that I had fed Benny with, the hands that he had perched on, the hands that were perched under my chin as i'd stare at him and make faces, were the same hands that closed the door in a hurry and brought him to his undeserved death. My parents eventually left me alone in the car and I stayed there I don't know for how long, sobbing, holding him in that shoe box. Benny was gone. I still had Joey but I didn't care, it was Benny who I loved. I don't remember how long it took me to get over it.

For some reason today while I was at Bon Epi trying to write my paper, I looked out the window and missed him.

We learn to love new things, but we never forget the old. There's still an attachment. I haven't gone down this memory lane for years, and i'm surprised that right now i'm actually crying.

I miss you old friend.

Cry In My Heart

There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper


Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?

Let's go God, it's just me and You.

No more distractions.

Lent

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of lent. I have never actually brought myself to do it but this year is different. I'm going to make the jump. Instead of giving up something for 40 days, I will do something for 40 days.

Inspired by Jaeson Ma's 365 Days of Love, I will do 40 days acts of love. Sounds simple enough yes? But actually it's not that easy. I want to learn how to love others better and each day I will consciously commit myself everyday to an act of love with God as my catalyst. It may be dropping off baked cookies/egg tarts to someones apartment to just calling someone to see how they're doing and listening to their problems/joys to just saying words of encouragement to someone to uplift them. I talked to Lily about this and she decided that she too would do lent and give up Facebook. We're going to do this together and talk about it each day to see how we did. And I will update my blog everyday about each act of love to keep myself accountable and also you, whatever readers I have can keep me accountable too. It'll be good to keep a record too.

Yesterday, I had the hardest time to figure out what to do. We split up chores in our apt so I decided to take out the trash for my roommate as my act of love. I know its simple and small but I will step up my game aiite?! Start off small so people have lower expectations for you, so when you do something people will appreciate it more. hahah just kidding. Today I bought a friend yogurtland, but i'm going to try and be creative with this.

All right, 40 days, let's do this. I hope that in this process I grow closer to God. & I gottaconstantly check my heart and be reminded that these acts of love are from Him and not me. Intentions are so important.

Anyone of you guys giving up something for lent? Please do share!

Last Weekend Recap

All right, let's talk about last weekend. And as a special treat...I share with you some of my weekend with pictures!

On Friday, Jason, Ji and I drove to Fresno, all in separate cars (since we all had separate places to go after). What should have been a 4 hour drives to Jason's became a frickin 5.5 hour drive?!?!? ughs! haha but it was good, we got milk tea, visited his high school and then some shopping area. It was fun.

F.A.T. getting all hot and sexy for bed.

Jason let me borrow a sleeping shirt and it said "I put out." -______-

Then I departed these 2 lovelies in the morning to drive home to San Jose.

Something I wouldn't mind waking up to every morning.........not.

Then on Sunday, Jason drove up from Fresno for v-day dinner. Took him to Verde, my high school and middle school, Cupertino Village and then we had dinner at Vaso Azzurro in Mountain View. It was a cute italian restaurant where the service was really good and they also sang in italian.

The bruschetta was super yummy.

The salmon was tasty too.

The seafood fettucini I had was delicious!

mmm flan...nom nom jason never had it before because he is a nub.

A ho I found on the street.

So the manager came over and told us "You guys are the best looking couple in the restaurant right now, it's a shame you're hidden here in the corner!" LOL Didn't have the heart to break it to him that we weren't an actual couple. And uhhh we looked around and we didn't have much competition. it was like some random azn couples and 80% old couples. Which was sad because he said this out loud right next to the old couple seated next to us. hahaha but hey, thanks for the compliment!

out walking the street like hookers

Thanks Jason for coming up, for dinner and for the stuffed animal surprise and all in all, a wonderful and fun Valentines Day! :) I still owe you a surprise, don't worry, I got chu! hahaha

More stuff happened but I am too tired to type anymore. haha The rest of the weekend was quite tiring, but short and relaxing. Can't wait to be home for Spring Break.

The Truth Of It All

Some lessons are harder and take longer to learn. Time to overcome this weak spot and turn it around. Tiffany Wong doesn't let things own her.

sigh, i'm truly sorry, God be my strength in it all. It's the time of healing.