Every girl deals with this in the past, present or future. It's called BBP,
"Bad Boy Phase"
Why is it that every girl is attracted to the bad boy or the douche bag that they know isn't good for them? Some girls may be attracted to the bad boy because they want to be a "bad girl" but in most cases, it is because they want to change them. The paradox here is the girl is attracted to this bad boy because he isn't the goody two shoes, nice boy but they also want to be the girl who changes him to be that. We want to be that girl. The girl who he sets down his wayward ways for. The girl he changes for. The girl who turns him "good." If you're a girl, you know what i'm talking about to some degree. Maybe we enjoy the challenge. Maybe in some way, we enjoy the thrill of this chase. This is just parallel to how guys want to be the knight in shining armor, the knight who saves the damsel in distress. The hero of the story.
I will be the first to admit that yes, I used to be attracted to the "bad boy" who wasn't good for me. Throughout my high school years, those were the type of guys I liked. C, who was a year older than me and hung out with the "popular, cool guys." He had experience with alcohol, etc, etc since middle school and knew a lot more than me. He would text in the day, call at night and occasionally visit me and walk my dog with me. Or A, who smoked pot every lunch and skipped our 5th period class because of that. He somehow ended up dealing a bit to his friends because he had access to it. Sometimes I'd try and make sure he was on track with school to make sure his grades were decent. We would talk just about every day and a lot of our talks went into the night via phone or AIM. In general, I was never really the one to call, text or AIM first. Since early on, I was never too good at that with all my friends (but i'm much better now!). But I always responded positively because I always believed that both of these guys had a good heart and were good people, and they were. They just lived a different lifestyle that I didn't hold but held a curiosity to. They were good guys and I just wanted to bring it out more. I was a naive, optimistic, Christian girl so it was in my nature to want to influence them to be a better guy. It was also those same reasons I believed which is why they liked talking and being around me because my naiveness, optimism & silly ways were a breath of fresh air and I cared. Yet it was also because I was a naive, optimistic, Christian girl that I still held down my fundamental values, that we never became anything more than friends. Because when it came down to it, I would only date Christians. And the nice boys who liked me, I just saw them as friends.
And then came my freshman year in college where I met M, who was a little bit of both. A Christian boy, emphasis on boy. But that's another story.
In the end, despite that part in us as girls to want to help change these "bad boys," its not our place. We can love, care, influence and hope but it is ultimately up to God and them how their lives play out. Remember the second guy I mentioned, A? He's a really good guy and recently told me he's been thinking about checking out the churches around Irvine and that he might call me up to go with me one of these Sundays. And then he went to Vegas that weekend. One step at a time. haha Not that there's anything wrong with Vegas, haha it's all up to what you do in Vegas really.
These days i've been very inspired by the book "Blue Like Jazz." It's given me a lot to think about and re question myself. I want to bring the best out in people. I want to tap into my full potential. I want to and am capable of being so much more. And there's so much I want to learn about, such as true unconditional love for everyone and the limitations as humans we have. I need some intellectual stimulation. I need someone to ask the hard questions. If anyones down for a good conversation, let's grab some coffee. Someone rock my world please, intellectually speaking. hahaha
