The Collector

Came across this on one of the blogs i follow, luluandyourmom. I've probably followed her for over a few years now. I came across her blog on a forum once, intrigued by her fashion and become more intrigued by the little bits of her life she did share and her thoughts. Thought this was something special, and it's inspiring me to write more and maybe post a little of old bits i've written before that definitely are not nearly as well written.
the collector

His place was like a museum. There was so much art everywhere. I went upstairs to use the bathroom. More art wrapped up in paper. "Careful not to touch anything," I told myself. Then I tripped on a vacuum cleaner... damn.

I was his object.

In the morning, I woke up next to him; it felt nice to be close. I noticed he put up a new painting. Pretty. I watched him get ready to take a shower; a cue for me to get dressed.

On my way out, he asked me, "How's your life?" to which I responded by looking away. He asked me again, "How's your life?"

"It's fine," I said.

Except it wasn't fine.

"I read your Facebook. The one about the girl in the New York Times. It was funny."

I couldn't remember what he was talking about. He was reading up on me. But I was right here.

"Are those shoes new?"

I wore them on our first date.

"Did you cut your hair?"

Like a month ago.

Collectors are like that. They don't have to interact with their beloved objects all the time. It's just... there. And every now and then they take an interest, but otherwise, there's no upkeep. His life was like a museum. Well curated. But poorly kept.

In An Ideal World

Sometimes I wish that the weather were always warm. And that my fridge would be completely filled up with bacon and milk tea.The dress code norm would be an over sized tee and boy short undies that say something spunky on the tush, like "No entering" or something of that sort. And that I would have a kick ass fanny pack to carry everything so I would always have my hands free to do whatever they'd like, whether it'd be slapping a ho or making it rain. And I would have my own reality show or talk show to speak all the gibberish I normally speak, but the only difference is that i'd actually get paid for it. Is that just too much to ask?

Story Of Our Lives

‎"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned the hard way that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the most of it without knowing whats going to happen next."    - Gilda Radner

Oh Silly Me

So I volunteered at this camp called the National Junior Sports camp for this week. It's a really cool camp because it's a week long camp for kids in wheelchairs. Anyways, today was the last day and it was counselors versus the campers in a game of softball. So I was helping this really cute 10 year old boy named Galen, and while all the campers were boo-ing the counselors, Galen was actually rooting for the counselors! Who roots for the opposing team??? Every time they got a home run, i'd be like "Noooo!!!" and he'd yell "Yay! Go counselors!" When I first heard that, I was super surprised and asked him who he wanted to win, which he replied the counselors. And then I asked him why, and he said it was because "I like the counselors." That totally pulled at my heart strings, super aw right?! Who in the world roots for the other team and not your own just because you like them? Everyone likes to win! Who the heck wants to lose?

But then later on I find out, it wasn't so much he liked the counselors as he liked one specific girl counselor and wanted them to win because of that. T_T Yeah, not so aw anymore. Sigh, so basically lesson learned. Boys are boys at any age and you just can't expect anymore than that.

Ummm...This Needs To Be Me

Freakin' lovelovelove this look and feel. Cream coloring, silky dress mixed with cashmere cardigan, chunky necklace. YUMS.

Bruises

Sometimes you get hurt and a bruise will form. And sometimes the bruise will show up right away and at other times it will take longer to develop. Either way it's just a matter of time of when the bruise will show up. And when it does, it decides to make that wonderful ugly mix of colors, like an artwork you just don't understand. Visually or physically when you accidentally touch it and it hurts again, it's a reminder. Bruises are reminders of that pain you experienced of that time you walked into that bench or that time some little kid accidentally kicked you. And all it takes is time for them to disappear. And then it's like it never happened. But at the time you have that bruise, it hurts just a little less every day.

You could say this is a metaphor for those times you've felt pain in your life, but as for now, I really just have a bruise on my inner ankle from when someone kicked me in soccer and it's turning out this really ugly thing. 

Curiosity

One of the hardest things in life is denying the things you feel you are entitled too, or the things you want. We believe that stopping things at the root is the easiest to do because it can only get so much harder when you've already stepped into it, right? And for some, that is. But I believe sometimes it's the hardest to stop things at the root, before the damage is done. Because instead you'll leave yourself wondering the what ifs and what nots until it drives you nuts. The curiosity kills you. It's like telling someone not to think about an old granny in a bikini and all of a sudden that's all you think about. (Did you just have a mental image in your head? Gross huh?) It's the endless possibilities of that situation that drive you crazy, thinking that you're pretty sure what you want wouldn't be good for you, but wondering if it might actually be that one exception. That it might just be the best wrong decision you make. Then again sometimes you get what you want, only to find out it was more than you wanted and more than you could've handled and ultimately, not what you actually wanted at all. And then you go back and think that maybe stopping your wants at the root was the easiest choice, that it wasn't worth the aftermath of the decision. But hey, at least now you know and you won't be wondering anymore.