Ummm...This Needs To Be Me

Freakin' lovelovelove this look and feel. Cream coloring, silky dress mixed with cashmere cardigan, chunky necklace. YUMS.

Bruises

Sometimes you get hurt and a bruise will form. And sometimes the bruise will show up right away and at other times it will take longer to develop. Either way it's just a matter of time of when the bruise will show up. And when it does, it decides to make that wonderful ugly mix of colors, like an artwork you just don't understand. Visually or physically when you accidentally touch it and it hurts again, it's a reminder. Bruises are reminders of that pain you experienced of that time you walked into that bench or that time some little kid accidentally kicked you. And all it takes is time for them to disappear. And then it's like it never happened. But at the time you have that bruise, it hurts just a little less every day.

You could say this is a metaphor for those times you've felt pain in your life, but as for now, I really just have a bruise on my inner ankle from when someone kicked me in soccer and it's turning out this really ugly thing. 

Curiosity

One of the hardest things in life is denying the things you feel you are entitled too, or the things you want. We believe that stopping things at the root is the easiest to do because it can only get so much harder when you've already stepped into it, right? And for some, that is. But I believe sometimes it's the hardest to stop things at the root, before the damage is done. Because instead you'll leave yourself wondering the what ifs and what nots until it drives you nuts. The curiosity kills you. It's like telling someone not to think about an old granny in a bikini and all of a sudden that's all you think about. (Did you just have a mental image in your head? Gross huh?) It's the endless possibilities of that situation that drive you crazy, thinking that you're pretty sure what you want wouldn't be good for you, but wondering if it might actually be that one exception. That it might just be the best wrong decision you make. Then again sometimes you get what you want, only to find out it was more than you wanted and more than you could've handled and ultimately, not what you actually wanted at all. And then you go back and think that maybe stopping your wants at the root was the easiest choice, that it wasn't worth the aftermath of the decision. But hey, at least now you know and you won't be wondering anymore.

Relative Truth

One of the things i've learned in the latter part of life is that people lie. I grew up with honest parents who really valued honesty and instilled this quality in the foundation of my upbringing. And other than little white lies, i've never told a major lie to my parents. I'm not afraid to claim responsibility of my actions. Also most of my really close friends know i'm not very good at lying unless for a good cause or if I really try to. I have problems even telling the people at Starbucks a fake name. Being misunderstood is one of the most annoying things ever because I hate having people believe in the wrong thing. In dramas and TV shows, misunderstandings are what keep the shows going on, but I cringe every time I see it happening. And as people we unconsciously tend to expect others to do what we ourselves would do. So I tend to trust what people say to be the truth. Some may call that being gullible, but I call it being trusting.

The craziest thing though is that sometimes people may think they are telling the truth, when in fact they're lying. They may not even be aware that they're lying. They tell the same lie over and over in hopes of it becoming the truth someday. And they're afraid to admit it because then they'll no longer be able to believe in the lie they've been telling themselves.

The truth is relative.

My Favorite

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Yes

Came across this on my newsfeed facebook when my friend (Emma) posted this on someone's wall, totally stalker-esqe I know. haha But it's good stuff and I just want to share this with all y'all.


“Don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.”
— Stephen Colbert




Let's learn to say yes to more things, yes? 


(Unless it's drugs or prostitution or something, the only thing growing from saying yes to those are debt and STDs, just sayin') 

Little Affairs Of The Heart

"But none of these really satisfy, and so we find ourselves trying to fill the remaining emptiness with our little indulgences (we call them 'bad habits'. Brent Curtis calls them our 'little affairs of the heart.' They are what we give our hearts away to instead of giving them to the heart of God."

"Little affairs of the heart" I like that. It aligns with one of my viewpoints. I came upon realization my Sophomore year of college that my relationship with God wasn't healthy/right if I was wanting other things, whatever they might be. If I was in a good relationship with God, why would I seek out for other things and not Him?

Anyways, that quote is an excerpt from the book Captivating  by John & Stasi Eldredge. I've actually had this book since my freshman year in college. Our small group bought the book together and were supposed to read it. It about "Unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul." I read the first chapter and tossed it aside regretting that I spent $22.99 on this hardcover book. If you read the flap jacket of the book it starts off "Why do little girls love to dress up in twirling skirts? Why do they dream of a day their prince will come and together they will live in a great adventure? Because that is the heart God set within every woman. That is the role she was created to play--to be a valiant and beautiful woman whose life changes the world."

Can you see why I tossed the book aside? Kinda cheesy huh? I could not identify with that at all and thought that it had more cheese than nachos. Growing up, I never fantasized about my wedding, or that some prince would come save me and we'd live happily ever after. Maybe it was because I was too busy digging worms up after school with my guy friend and putting the worms in cups meant to take home but left on the tables at school, or maybe it was I was too busy throwing my baby doll in the tree to help knock my friend's Barbie that was stuck in the tree since we were seeing how high we could throw them. I'm not saying I was a complete tomboy as a child, I did play with Barbies and took ballet and jazz but I just imagined myself a little more independent and stronger than to dream of a rescue from a prince. I think I just never thought I needed to be rescued, which kinda explains why Mulan was my favorite Disney princess movie while growing up (okay so she's not an official Disney princess but whatever! in my heart she is! haha). But anyways, fast foward some years I finally decide to give the book more of a chance (after skipping the first couple chapters) and i'm glad I did because it's more than that. And while i'm still reading it, probably also from a more mature point of view, but I can definitely see some valid points and actually relate to them. And i'm learning. I guess i'm more of a girl than I thought. haha

So just thought i'd share. Nice to see my $22.99 isn't completely wasted. haha