Ghost Of An Existence

When you start moving out, you start to pack. A vital component of packing is determining what's to be kept and thrown away. Things such as old midterms and notes are tossed right away, especially those midterms that share the same number as an anorexic girl's weight. But then you get to the sentimental stuff and it's a different story. Small things like old notes, old pictures, small gifts, letters, birthday cards, movie and concert stubs, even business cards of people you know or restaurants you go to and random crap are put into in a box to be kept aside. No matter what, they have a place in your heart and you can't bear to throw them away. After living in this apartment for the last couple of years, things have accumulated. And coincidently things have changed.

It's crazy coming across an old birthday card from a person you barely talk to anymore. Or encouragement notes from people who you had barely knew at the time but now you've gotten to know them better. A silly gift from the guy you dated before. A picture of a group hangout from freshman year that you look back and it just looks so foreign now. A ticket stub of a bad movie you saw with friends. Memories flood in and it's as if you're dealing with the ghost of an existence. A slight taste of bittersweetness kicks in. Sometimes people come in your life and stay. But sometimes people come in and out of your life for only brief moments of time and at some points, you may have even been attached at the hip. And reading through these old notes or going through these old pictures reminds you of times you've spent with the person. These last 4 years at UCI have gone by so quickly, it's crazy.

I think the craziest thing is that on the other side of the spectrum, i've written plenty of cards, encouragement notes, graduation cards to the years above me, picture and given random things to other people. But at this very exact moment in time, what place do I hold in that person's life? A good friend? An acquaintance? Someone foreign now? Or am I just a ghost of a past existence?

What ever it is, I hope the memories we have are ones you can look back on and smile. And if we're lucky, we'll create even better memories in the days ahead.

It seems as through the whole process of moving out leaves a taste that's a little more bitter than bittersweet.

What The Random

Warning: This post is utterly useless and i'm tired so it's going to sound very jumbled.

Okay, I was just about to hop into my bed wearing my "Carifornia" sweater that my friend got me when he went abroad in Japan because apparently they don't use "L's" in Japan and that is amusing. But yes, he went abroad to Japan and ended up getting me a "Carifornia" sweater..........yea, I don't get it either. Hence, it has become my comfy sleeping sweater. haha Note* he is the same guy who got me that letter "T" that sits in my back trunk (I'm pretty sure he does not read my blog, if for some crazy reason he does, um....HI AND I APPRECIATE YOU! haha).

ANYWAYS, back to what I was saying.......I was about to hop into bed when I realized I haven't posted in awhile (awhile meaning like 5/6 days) haha so just to update you a little.....my days have been surprisingly quite filled doing I don't even know what, but it's been good. Today included bowling, Tastea, Boiling Crab, buying tons of good priced nail polish (I freakin was acting like a kid in a candy store), ice cream & movies, and just simply hanging out.

4th of July was yesterday and next year I want to own/wear something as cool as this jacket for the occasion. So I got about 364 days left to find something as badass. Wish me luck.

That is all. This was a completely random, useless post. Goodnight, gotta get sleep for my long day tomorrow.

Decisions

Life is made of decisions; some are menial and some can change your life. The tricky thing is that actually almost every decision changes your life in some way. The sad thing is that part of growing up is owning up to every decision you make too. Being human, it is extremely easy to make the wrong decisions. We've all made mistakes in the past and sometimes we find ourselves still paying for those mistakes. But it's okay, it's a part of growing up. Mistakes turn into lessons if we do it right. Striving to be a Godly woman is hard ish and for all I know, simple decisions i've made here and there could possibly add up into something disastrous. I wish I had like like a huge light up warning sign to warn me every time i'd be close to making the wrong choice, it'd make things so much easier. This time I got to keep on making smart decisions. There are so many choices of all different sorts I feel like i'm constantly facing and I gotta be smart about it. Gotta show my parents they raised me right.

"It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime."

The Kite Runner

Ridin' Solo

This has been the new morning jam these days. Actually it is the theme song for 3/4 of 904 Junction. haha Perfect song to set into the summer. It's going to be a good one, I feel it. :)

We had a 904 Junction reunion last Saturday for Vicki's 22nd birthday. Even though it's only been 2 weeks, it feels like we've been apart much longer all doing our own thing. It felt good to all be back at the apartment together. A group of us celebrated Vicki's birthday on a boat which was really chill. We drove the boat around for a couple of hours while enjoying the scenery, music, food, strawberries and mimosas. Checked out the beach a little afterwards and then later at night went to the comedy improv. Twas a good day. :)

Lovely 904 Junction ladies, how i've missed you so.

Silent Readers

I'm not even really sure who even reads my blog. Someone told me awhile back that they read my blog and I was surprised. I didn't know know he knew it existed. I'm fairly open on my blog considering it's a public blog, which I hope doesn't bite me back in the butt. But I have always been a pretty open person and writing on blogs have always been quite therapeutic.

I wonder why people read my blog. And some of my posts have a lot of words, so for anyone to even commit to reading an entire post is kind of amazing (Well actually the way the layout of my blog is, it looks a lot longer than it actually is but people tend to be visual creatures) Granted i'm weird but am I even that interesting of a person? Is it because they enjoy my insights? Or they find somewhat of a connection to me through my daily struggles? Or if they are encouraged by my words? Or if they just want to get to know me? Or because it's in their blog newsfeed and it's simply there to read? Or is it the same reason I do? I love reading my friends blog or even some random people's blog because what the person chooses to share and how they choose to share intrigues me. I love being updated on their lives; there's this silent connection. I can't explain it, but it really makes me happy when my friends blog. Ok that sounded really loserish, but ay, no shame. haha Ok goodnight, for a person finally just starting to get over my horrible flu I should have been in bed 5 hours ago.

But to end with a question to appease my curiosity, what keeps you coming back to reading my blog anyways?

Behind The Scenes

What are some of the best ways to get to know a person? They say you can tell a lot about a woman with the items she carries in her purse. I assume that the male equivalent would be the trunk of his car. To bring a balance to the two, I decided to take a spontaneous picture of all the items in my back trunk. So here is an uncensored picture of Miss Whatswong's back trunk.

Items Found

1. "Obey" white cardigan

2. Two shooting range paper targets (which reminds me, I need to pick up my laminated shooting license from the place-license to kill, thas whatsup)

3. East of Eden paperback

4. Old issue of Cosmopolitan

5. Random issue of OC Metro concerning the 20 women to watch out for (i'm probably in it)

6. Case of water

7. Costco pack of Orbit gum

8. Random almost empty bottle of Barcardi Rum that I have no idea where it came from

9. Giant Shin ramen cup that people are amazed about but disappointed to find out that it is actually a tissue holder

10. Blue window squeezie & plastic bags

11. A decorative red striped "T" a guy friend gave to me as a gift that I obviously treasure so much...........and left it in my car trunk instead of using it.......

Well that's a bunch of random ish that's accumulated....... Yeah, I don't know what you're going to take from this. I am who I am. Which is...not your average Christian girl I suppose. Remember my previous entry of "don't judge"? Looks like a perfect time to put it in practice. Didn't think i'd have you doing real life application too huh? haha Sucka. On second thought, maybe I should've just stuck with the purse idea. haha

Miss Whatswong

The Simple Things

Got back in Irvine tonight. I spent a wonderful week back at home in the bay and saw almost everyone I wanted to see. There's something about the bay that just relaxes the soul. Too bad my body didn't get as much relaxing cause I somehow ended up going out 4 nights in a row. It was fun but I haven't done that whole going out constantly thing in a long while, and I don't plan to do it for a long while either cause uh, it's kind of really tiring and the liver needs caring of. Lame alumni status already kicking in?

On a more important note, Happy Father's Day to the most important man in my life.

Papa Whatswong & me. He is the most honest, genuine, hardworking man I know. And he dated a Mexican girl before my mom. hahaha My pops is cool. As you can see, he is where I get my boyish charm, good looks and style from. Love ya pops.

The past couple weeks have been good and i'm happy. :)